He’s Rich, She’s Hot! So What? – Beyond Appearances Towards Real Love

It’s the stereotypical trade – sex objects for success objects. Attractive women (or men) for wealthy men (or women). This barter of status (looks and wealth) is ancient and deeply ingrained in the human psyche. And, it is pitched to us as the ideal over and over again in the media (television, movies, magazines). Yet, as many wealthy and beautiful people know who have entered into this bargain (I once did it myself in my youth), it doesn’t lead to love or happiness. So, why do we keep valuing this superficial approach that in truth has nothing to do with love? In fact, when we approach people in this superfical manner, we almost guarantee that real love will elude us in the process.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being physically appealing or having lots of money. Beauty can inspire. Wealth can be used to accomplish great good. But, those with beauty and wealth know too well the chronic heartbreak that happens when people desire you only for your externals. It could even be said that those with extreme beauty or wealth have more difficulty finding real love than others do. Because they tend to be pursued more for their external value, they must have and apply more rigorous discernment to be sure they are being loved for who they truly are as persons.

And, to do so they must (as we all must) be willing to drop the focus on external qualities a person has, and shift more towards desiring the internal qualities a person posessess that can lead us to a truly joyful, happy, loved, and loving life. I am reminded for example of a dating service I am aware of (there are plenty like the one I know), that is set up primarily to accomplish the looks for wealth trade amongst potential partners. I am also reminded of my own early years where I mistakenly entered into this kind of trade and learned the hard way how it didn’t serve anybody. And, I am especially reminded of the stories I have heard now from clients for decades who fell into this external emphasis and suffered a great deal for having done so.

Now, I am a realist. I understand human nature. I am used to my clients telling me in an excited tone of voice when they meet a potential partner, “She is so hot. I could just look at her beauty all day long.” Or, “He is so rich. He has his own private plane. He owns several homes.”

But, my training and years of experience have also taught me a lot about the painful road they are traveling down. That is why when I hear these statements I sigh inwardly, knowing that sooner rather than later, trouble will be at their door.

Why? Again, there is nothing wrong with beauty. It can be very inspiring to have a partner who is physically attractive to us. And, wealth can help us accomplish a great deal of good in life if we have access to it. But, when we start out being thrilled about externals, and when we focus on what others can give us especially in the way of status, the ego has pretty much taken over. That very same ego only leads to much heartbreak down the road.

A wealthy friend of mine has a saying I would like to share with you to bring some proof. He calls it the Cindy Crawford syndrome. (She was the supermodel who was in vogue at the time he was young). What is the Cindy Crawford, or supermodel, syndrome? It’s the classic problem externally based ego driven people often face when they put the emphasis on externals like beauty.

Because they care more about the status a person brings them, instead of caring truly for the person, even if they marry a supermodel they remain discontent. That is why before too long he will be trading in a supermodel girlfriend for a new one. (Tiger Woods anyone?). Well, Tiger is not alone. And, you don’t have to have wealth to fall victim to putting the emphasis on externals, any egotistical selfish person will be prone to do so.

That is also why I take a deep breath and say a little prayer when I hear women gushing about how much money a man spends on them, or can bring to their lives. Again, I can’t blame them for being misguided. I was too at one point. I married the wrong person in a trade of my youthful looks for sizable wealth in hopes that it would bring the happiness and security I longed for. It didn’t. In fact, my brief years in that marriage were some of the most unhappy of my life. Why? Because despite his money and my looks, we were not at all compatible with each other. And, neither one of us bothered to ask the kinds of questions that I will share with you now.

Questions To Answer In Your Quest for Real Love.

1. Do I genuinely enjoy and admire this person, even if he/she were not wealthy or good looking?
2. Do we share the same vision of what we want our lives to be like? And, does that vision help to create a better world for lots of people around us?
3. Do we have a lot of things in common (after all even though opposites attract, time and again, research shows that long lasting happy relationships and marriages happen between people who are more alike than different).
4. Does this person possess integrity? Can he/she be trusted to keep his/her word?
5. Is this person free from obsessions, addictions, and abusive patterns (emotionally, physically, financially) showing they are capable of being a happy loving person, able to give that happiness and love to someone else?
6. Is this person a naturally unselfish person? Do they treat others with care and respect no matter what their status in life?
7. How does this person treat me? Forget about how much money he/she spends on me. Forget about how much he/she turns me on physically. How does he/she treat me regarding the little things in life? How good of a human being is this person?
8. Does this person value who I am mainly in terms of the service I am here to bring to the world? And, will he/she help me make the contibution with my talents I am meant to?
9. Is this person capable of making sacrifices, joyfully and willingly, especially since the ability to joyfully sacrifice for the well being of others demonstrates that this person knows how to truly love?
10. What kind of spiritual qualities does this person possess, especially in regards to being fair, truthful, compassionate, open-minded, naturally joyful, loving, and concerned for welfare of others?

Of course, there are additional questions that could be asked. But, how much more I would delight if someone would tell me, “He/she is such a good person. He/she has such a kind heart. We share so many things in common. People genuinely admire him/her. He/she can be trusted to keep his/her word. He/she treats me really well. And, by the way, he/she is my ideal of good looking. It is so much fun how he/she really turns me on. And, he/she has the financial means that allows us both use that wealth wisely to help create a better world.”

Then, I would smile with joy and wish them well. I would feel that they were learning to bless each other and this world with the presence of their real love. But, most of all, I would know that at some point, sooner or later they would not be calling me on the phone with the classic story I hear one too many times of how despite all they have in life in terms of looks, status, or wealth, they feel lonely, empty, betrayed, sad, angry, and abandoned once more because they did not get the real love they were looking for.

Yes, real love. That is what is it really all about. And, that is what I wish for them, for myself, and for the entire world.

Copyright by Dr. Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

Want to learn how to ATTRACT & KEEP REAL LOVE? Go to the link below.

http://doctorlisalove.com/attract_love_group_coaching.html

Love Myth: Love is Blind. Love Truth: Love is Consciousness

It’s a common saying, “Love is blind.” And, it’s a phrase that has been stated by numerous well known people. Many movies also proclaim it. Yet, is this really true? Or, is it just another myth about love that prevents us from knowing what love really is, and therefore, stops us from attracting real love into our lives?

Perhaps it helps by understanding what people generally mean when they say “love is blind.” Typically, they are saying that they are willing to overlook certain things that annoy them. Or, that they are “crazy in love” with someone, so regardless of obvious negative traits the person possesses, they willfully blindly ignore them. They may even be saying that they don’t want to know what the other person is really like, as it will upset their capacity to love them anymore.

What is all of this really saying to us? Yes, it can be a good to learn how to overlook certain things in a relationship that may disturb the overall balance of love. But, are you really overlooking them, or putting them in perspective, which means you see them clearly, but decide in the larger scheme of the relationship and of love, that they are really not the most important things to focus on? Unless of course, they are! Because too often people overlook problems in a relationship that are really acting like “acid on the pipe” (a phrase my clients know me to use often). Why “acid on the pipe?” Because though they seem minor, they have the power to erode even the strongest metal, or foundation of a relationship. And, no loving relationship is helped by problems being ignored in such a way the very foundation of love within the relationship is gradually destroyed.

In fact. this unwise overlooking of the truth by chosing to remain blind has created problems for nearly everyone. It is the main reason “love” often ends tragically (which means in truth love wasn’t very present to begin with, blindness was). Why is this? Because in the name of “love” we overlook numerous red flags that will obviously lead to serious problems later on. These include abusive and addictive patterns, irresponsible handling of career and finances, obvious disregard for the feelings and needs of others, codependent patterns and more. Instead of generating love, this willful overlooking of negative behaviors feeds the lack of love. (Remember this one, I Lack Love, or I.L.L., which is the end result). What would love really require in these situations? Quite honestly, it would require the courage to look at these problematic behaviors head on, and in a loving way (for yourself and others) insist they be dealt with and resolved.

But, when we willfully ignore reality, and turn a “blind eye” to what our loved ones are doing, this isn’t love. It’s fear. Fear of finding out the truth. Fear of not knowing how to handle the truth if it is revealed. Fear of being left alone if love requires the loving removal of negative people and behaviors from your life. Fear of having to confront the unloving aspects of yourself. In all these examples, fear dominates, love does not. And, where fear exists, love cannot be present. The two simple can’t reside together, because love is one of the main things that overcomes fear to begin with.

What we discover then is that love is far from blind, it is conscious. As I am frequently known to say, it requires 20/20 vision. It requires the courage to see clearly. As we see clearly, it then requires the wisdom to love in the most intelligent and powerful way whatever (or whoever) comes into our lives. How do we know we are loving in an intelligent and powerful way? Simple. We expand within ourselves and others the capacity to love. That requires, however, knowing what love entails, something we will continue to learn in our discovery of real love. So, let us finally once and for all put the “love is blind” myth on the shelf! So, that real love is something we can finally invite fully, and consciously, into our lives.

Copyright 2009 by Dr. Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

WANT TO ATTRACT & KEEP REAL LOVE IN YOUR LIFE? Learn more at the link below.

http://doctorlisalove.com/attract_love_group_coaching.html

Giving Thanks for the Miracle of Life

Just imagine. Imagine as if you could live every day as a miracle. Imagine if you could wake up and no matter what your day brings, you could go through your day saying, “Thank you Spirit! Thank you God!” Thanks for this opportunity to learn once more how to open my heart. Thank you for the opportunity to dare to love those who I was afraid to love, found it difficult to love, wanted to love but didn’t know how. Thank you for the opportunity to love and discover more about being loved in return.

You in the airport or on the freeway…. thank you for the opportunity to practice patience, to offer a smile, to encounter the limitations within myself that keep my heart frozen and blocked from revealing all the love that I am, and taking in all the love I can receive.

You in my family… despite all the pain and hurt we have shared together, thank you for the opportunity to practice forgiveness, to replace my fears with love, to learn discernment, to see you more clearly, to know how to be with you in a safe space, where we can learn to be more conscious and open together.

You in another country… thank you for being different from me, for teaching me to be less self-absorbed in my own view of the world, to discover how varied human kind is, and how to love others fully and clearly in an attempt to understand and learn how to be with different points of view.

You all alone… out there somewhere believing no one cares. Thank you for helping me remember that you are there. Knowing this I can send you my love, and wish for you that you will reach beyond fear finding those who care.

You who are in pain or suffering… thank you for reminding me about compassion. That I am here not only to receive, but to give. Thank you for teaching me the limits of my capacity to love, so that I may open my heart and expand my ability to embrace you even more. For in embracing you and helping you heal, I heal myself. Because we are one, all one, in our joys and our sorrows.

You who I have harmed… thank you for revealing to me my shadow, all those nooks and crannies of ignorance I thought I had gone beyond. Thank you for showing me all the ways I need to grow. And, to those of you who found it in your hearts to forgive me, thank you for that act of grace, as I also attempt to shed that grace upon myself.

You who are in celebration and joy… thank you for reminding me about the essence and true nature of life. Thank you for waking me up and reminding me that life is precious. So let us all wake up and embrace the day to see what it has to offer. Thank you for reminding me life is too short for bad moods, and all things go better when we simply remember to find joy in life and smile at one another.

You who love… you are the reason for living. Thank you for the friendship, kindness, inspiration, and shear delight you bring into my life. Your courageous act of keeping your hearts open help heal this world. For you reveal that love is not scarce, it exists in an abundance.

You… Spirit… Divine… God… Energy… Life! You are all that is, in all your wonderous displays. Sometimes confusing, but always revealing the fundamental truth…. we are one. I am you, you are me. As we learn to consciously embrace the miracle of life, and lovingly dissolve the barriers that prevent us from seeing the essence we all are… then love bursts forth!

So, thank you…. thank you… thank you… this day, every day, every moment.

Blessings and love,

Lisa

LoveMovies! Empowerment Review of the Time Traveler’s Wife

Henry is an ordinary boy living an ordinary life until one day at age six a tragic event totally changes his life. In a car with his mother, a marvelous singer who is busy teaching Henry how to do the same, a tragic accident suddenly takes his mother away. And, in many ways, Henry is taken away as well. In response to the trauma of seeing his mother die, Henry becomes a time traveler. Randomly, throughout the next forty years of his life he leaps through time, primarily to interact with the various stages
of the life of his one great love, Claire.

On the surface time travel seems absurd. Yet, if we really look at it millions of people are time traveling every single day. Trauma victims are especially susceptible to doing this. Whenever something triggers a memory of their trauma, they simply disappear. Perhaps they disappear mentally causing them to lose track of the present moment as they drift into the past. Never fully at home, the loved ones around them are frequently left to inquire as to where they are going, since though they may be right in front of them, no one seems at home.

Or, they may disappear into various addictive behaviors. Sex, drugs, alcohol and other addictive “medications” are typical choices used to help time travelers avoid the present moment. That’s because they would rather numb out memories of the past, then face them head on. Then, there are those who disappear entirely. They simply run away from those they love, only to appear and disappear over and over again at the most inexplicable times. Some on the run do take their loved ones with them, unwittingly causing the suffering of those they love, who struggle to cope with the constant feeling
of being uprooted and having to abandon too many times the people and places they are coming to care for and enjoy.

Watched carefully it is easy to see how Henry’s constant disappearances are triggered by feelings of anxiety, fear, and memories of past pain. His greatest fear and pain is of course the loss of someone he loves. Perhaps that is why he constantly tests Claire to see, if like his mother, she will one day abandon him. Fortunately, for Henry, Claire chooses to remain a constant part of his life. But, to do so without becoming a “time traveler” herself (through escapist behaviors), she has to learn a significant lesson. She faces her traumas and losses head on. And, in doing so, she does not abandon herself.  An example of this happens when Henry returns to her after disappearing for over two weeks. Bravely, Claire refuses to cancel her plans to spend time with him. She has learned something Henry never fully seems to comprehend, to fully love another, you have to love yourself. Unlike Henry, she refuses to put the present moment on hold.

Wiser on matters of the heart and no longer codependent, Claire lives as she must.  She is no longer worried if Henry will go on the run. He has run away too many times already. So, when Henry insists that Claire refrain from having children and attempts to manipulate time to stop her from doing so, she manages to make her dream come true anyhow. Living life, not running from life, is Claire’s major priority now.

In that way, the Time Traveler’s Wife, is a love story. Though it is Claire (and later her daughter) who are the main ones who really know how to love. Henry is too chained to his early trauma, and to fear, to let much of their love enter his life. Though Henry goes to a geneticist to fix his condition, what he really needs is a good trauma therapist. In many ways that is the role his daughter attempts to take on. She too suffers loss, even the tragic and sudden loss of someone she loves. Yet, she copes in a different way. Though young, she deals with her traumas head on, processing her emotions surrounding her traumas in a more conscious and loving manner.

That’s why when Henry asks her how he can learn, as she has, to travel consciously throughout time, she tells him to sing. Why sing? Because his mother was teaching him to sing at the very moment she died triggering Henry’s trauma in the first place. Sadly, Henry let’s his fear and trauma dominate him to the very end. Though he is learning more about love, he is unable to love himself, his wife, or his daughter enough to work through his trauma in a conscious way, so he no longer feels compelled to run away.

But, as I have already said, Henry is not the only time traveler. They are all around us. Let’s pray then that with enough love and courage we can help them all live more fully in the present moment. Then, they will finally find their way back to themselves, their hearts, their homes, and those who love them.

LoveMovies! Resource Match.

Learn some great tips for coping with trauma here.

http://www.crisiscounseling.org/TraumaLoss/CopingWithTrauma.htm

Time Traveler’s Wife Movie Trailer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USUDlMBR-dQ&feature=fvw

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa Love

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love & LoveMovies!. All Rights Reserved.

LoveMovies! — A New Way of Watching & Enjoying Films!

We love movies! That’s why we invite you to imagine having fun watching a movie, while learning more about yourself and the world around you. Imagine using movies to empower you, allowing you to act in a more conscious and loving way. That’s how you can get more out of movies, and get more out of life.

Get started and learn to apply the life lessons from movies in the following main areas :

Healing — Movies that help you transform difficult emotions and situations.
Inspiration — Movies that encourage, motivate, and inspire you.
Personal Growth — Movies that help you discover and be your personal best.
Relationships — Movies that enhance your capacity to relate well to others.
Social Issues — Movies expanding your understanding of the world around you.

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The Time Traveler's Wife

Forgiving, Forgetting, & Boundary Setting

Is it really possible, or practical, to forgive and forget if someone is only going to repeat abusive and harmful behaviors? It is, but it requires a little more clarity on the entire process of boundary setting in conjunction with forgiveness.

In the past several years I have become even more savvy on the dynamics of abuse. I have also become aware of how abusers pretty much count on people forgiving them and forgetting about the harm they cause as a way to escape from the consequences of their destructive behaviors.

Which is why I want to draw upon the Christian teachings I was raised on. Because to me Jesus is a major example of forgiveness. Yet, when Jesus famously forgave those around him, at one point he also proclaimed, “Go and sin no more.” In other words, all of us, when we are given the blessing of forgiveness, have at the same time a responsibility to become more conscious of our destructive patterns. And, once aware of them, we need to actively move to change our behaviors so we sin (or harm ourselves and others) no more.

What about forgetting then? Though I have no idea what the roots are of the words forgiving and forgetting, it has not passed by me that the words can easily be broken into “for – giving” and “for – getting.” Looked at this way I can almost imagine acient folks looking at two people who have harmed each other, and then telling them to both step into the center of the room for the purpose of “giving” and “getting.” Or, to put it more simply for the sake of apologizing and making restitution with each other so the scales of justice (or karma) are set right.

Yet, sadly forgiving and forgetting has often turned into, “Ok, I’ll be a nice person and let you off the hook entirely. You don’t have to get conscious. You don’t have to change your behaviors. I’ll just let the whole thing go. And, you can go on being hurtful like you were before.” Quite frankly this is the fundamental reason why abusive relationships continue. Abusive people never have to suffer any consequences for their destructive behaviors. And, their forgiving spouses (who continue to ignore the abuse) end up getting hurt again and again and again.

So, what is the better way to forgive? First, it is true, when you don’t forgive you remain stuck in the past. Your thoughts spin negative. You are not able to create a more positive future for yourself. In many respects you continue the abuse cycle. Only this time instead of the other person harming you, you are harming yourself. That is why forgiveness primarily helps YOU. It helps you let go, move on, and move forward in your life free from the negative impact of the person who wounded you in the first place.

But, it is also true that forgiveness requires being able to stand in a place of spiritual power. As Jesus conveyed, now that the other person has been given a second chance, they now have a responsibility with that chance to become a better person. I am reminded of the famous play and film Les Miserables, which is a major story of forgiveness. In this tale Jean val jon steals silver from the home of the priest and is caught. Though the priest could have easily sent Jean val Jon back to the labor camps, he did not. Instead, he forgave Jean val jon. But, in forgiving him he also requested what he now wanted from Jean val jon (which was the priest’s way of saying what he would be “getting” in return). He said, “With this silver I have bought your soul for God.” Meaning he now held Jean val jon responsible for waking up, setting things right, and becoming a better human being from now on. Thank God, Jean val jon did.

As I see it then real forgiveness requires a great deal of spiritual power and spiritual perspective. To get to this point you do need to use forgiveness to heal enough to embrace more your own value and dignity as a human being. Letting go of your pain will help you get there, which is why forgiveness is a tool that mostly helps you. Once healed and free from the wounds of the past as a powerful and dignified human being, you then have the responsibility to learn about how to better protect yourself from such hurtful behavior. Then, you need to develop the capacity to set boundaries so you prevent that person from wounding you anymore. And, if you can manage it, you can even learn to develop enough spiritual power that with dignity and grace you are able to convey to the person who has harmed you, that in being forgiven, they have a responsibilty to wake up and become a better person.

With these steps everyone gives, everyone gets, and balance is restored for the good of all.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa Love

Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Check out my NEW BOOK: SOUL SUCCESS: How to Create Joy & Prosperity in Good Times or Bad Buy the book and receive bonus gifts at my website.

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong. — Ghandi

FREE Coaching Into Greater Health & Financial Freedom

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My EIRO Website. http://doctorlisalove.ieiro.com
My Email Address. doctorlisalove@yahoo.com
My Phone Number. 858-356-8359

What is EIRO?

The website says it all. But, just to let you know, here are the Top Five Reasons I chose Eiro over all the other companies I researched out there.

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My EIRO Website. http://doctorlisalove.ieiro.com
My Email Address. doctorlisalove@yahoo.com
My Phone Number. 858-356-8359

Call me or Email me to find out more!

Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Life

Kerplunk Game

Dear Friend,

If times are tough right now and you are going through fear, loss, sorrow, frustration, confusion, disappointment, desperation, anger, or more…

…. then I know I can help you. My name is Dr. Lisa Love and after decades of living through both good times and bad I know intimately that the number one thing that will help you get through is knowing how to heal and shift your emotions so they no longer stop you from moving forward in a powerful and successful way.

Consider this!  It’s a childhood game called Kerplunk that best illustrates why this program is so important for helping you recover from any difficult situation you are in.

Marbles = Thoughts
Pickup Sticks = Emotions
Tray Bottom = Actions Following Through

Now, the goal of the game is to get the marbles down through the chute to the bottom. Or, to get our thoughts into actions we follow through on. At times, however, our limiting beliefs prevent us from even putting the marbles into the tube. So, we never get started. But, if even we do get started and put our positive beliefs and thoughts (the marbles) into the tube, they can still get blocked. Why?

Because the pickup sticks represent all our unhealed emotions that sabotage our ability to follow through or act in the right way, despite all our positive thinking and good intentions. That’s why emotions are considered “the power factor of manifestation.” They e-mote us, or move us, into the direction we need to go to attract what we need to for a better life, or not!

The name of the game, then, isn’t just positive thinking it’s positive feeling! So, how do you get your feelings working at the highest state so they can aid you? Here’s how!

Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Life CD Set

CD ONE: Shifting Fear Into Love
CD TWO: Shifting Confusion Into Clarity
CD THREE: Shifting Sorrow Into Compassion
CD FOUR: Shifting Anger Into Energy
CD FIVE: Shifting Jealousy Into Fulfillment
CD SIX: Shifting Happiness Into Joy
BONUS CD: Healing Your Emotions Visualizations

That’s right. In this program I will show you how you can shift six major emotional states into their highest level, where their true gifts can be revealed to you.

Learn about the giftseach emotion gives if you handle them at the highest level, allowing you to “remove the pickup sticks” or energy blocks that stop you from getting motivated, moving into action, and manifesting what you need to, especially in a harmonious way.

Discover how each emotion operates at an unhealthy, average, and healthy level.

Get a variety of practical exercises to help you shift each emotions in a positive way.

Be led through a visualization helping you to work with the emotion at the highest level.

Each CD is 60 minutes in length or longer.

Remember, when you feel as if your life is not going the way you wish it would, whether you are experiencing good times or bad, nothing seems quite right. Often that is because you don’t understand how to manage your emotions at a positive level. But, that no longer has to be the case. You can learn to gain mastery over your emotions and keep yourself positive, energized, and ready to act in an effective way.

Wouldn’t you rather have love, clarity, compassion, energy, fulfilment, and joy in your life over fear, confusion, sorrow, anger, jealousy and fleeting moments of happiness?

Then learn more about this CD SET HERE to heal your life once and for all.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa Love

Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Check out my NEW BOOK: SOUL SUCCESS: How to Create Joy & Prosperity in Good Times or Bad Buy the book and receive bonus gifts at my website.

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove. com/freegifts.html

Notes From a Recovering Spiritual Addict

Priorities: Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... but the world may be different, because I did something so bazzingly crazy that my ruins became a tourist attraction - Despair.com

Who could have imagined it? After what had amounted to decades of spiritual training, teaching, service, rigorous meditation practice, being a vegetarian, running for free one of the largest spirituality ecology, personal growth, alternative healing sites on the Internet, reading well over a thousand books (mostly on spirituality, self-help, and psychology), being trained by some incredible teachers, going through a number of intense mystical experiences (some even lasted non-stop for weeks), and earning a number of spiritual, transpersonal, psychological degrees, I of all people would want to take a break and go on what I called my “spiritual sabbatical.” Why?

 

Spiritual burn-out! Yes, I am a recovering spiritual addict.

Yep. It was time for me to acknowledge something similar to the title of a person’s book I really admire, Jack Kornfield. The name of the book? After the Ecstasy, The Laundry.

Or, maybe we could put it this way… After the Ecstasy.. I was…

* needing to focus more on finances.
* discovering what it was like to be a mother.
* learning the real nitty gritty lessons of relationships.
* finding out that sometimes “gurls (guru and girl combined) just want to have fun!”
* cleaning up in that washing machine the especially crusty stuff still sticking to me from my childhood.
* deciding at times it was better to sleep and zone out instead of meditate (and easier too!)
* learning as I went “beyond ananda” (like Swami Beyondananda — the comic alter ego of a friend of mine Steve Bhaerman), that sometimes you just have to say no matter how many realizations you have…”Heck if I know!”
* and so many more valuable lessons of being a human being, and not just a spiritual one.

So, why am I sharing this with you? Because there is something really incredible and different having gone through all of this in my new approach to spiritual work. And, it is based on the recognition that there is never really anything that exists outside of spiritual practice. It is all “grist for the mill.” Relaxing into this has brought a softness, humor, and ease into the whole process that too often did not exist in my life before. Plus, it is bringing a peaceful compassionate awareness regarding who I am (ultimately as the I AM, or One with all that is), and who I am (as the flawed but fantastic little speck of consciousness incarnate in a person named Lisa Love).

What then, was my spiritual sabbatical about and why do I feel it is over now? I think it was about taking a break from the intensity of a process and a practice that may at times have made me a bit too much. And, why do I now feel that sabbatical is over? Because as I ease back into a more rigorous practice I do so with a greater lightness in my approach. I don’t take it so seriously any more, though my intentions to practice again at a deeper and fuller level are still in place.

My hope for you then, is to be gentle as well as stern with yourself, and in balancing the two you find your own middle way. Then, you can even find ecstasy in the laundry, because you will enjoy learning about what is being sifted away, and what is emerging clean and fresh. Living more in the flow, instead of addicted to control, your spiritual practice will embrace more of everythng around you and within you with compassion and love.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa Love

Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Check out my NEW BOOK: SOUL SUCCESS: How to Create Joy & Prosperity in Good Times or Bad Buy the book and receive bonus gifts at my website.

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html

Why REAL Love Goes Beyond Falling In and Out of Love

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You’ll discover that real love is millions of miles past falling in love with anyone or anything. When you make that one effort to feel compassion instead of blame or self-blame, the heart opens again and continues opening ~ Sara Paddison

DR. LISA LOVE REFLECTIONS

Once upon a time a client of mine totally fell “in love” with a man who offered her much of what she wanted in life. As the relationship progressed she continued to be excited about the many connections and possibilities between them. But, all along something seemed a little off. “Do you think he is secretly married?” she had asked me. After all he would disappear for days and even weeks on end on mysterious travel trips. “Possibly,” I told her, but as we explored it together we discover this was most likely not the case. “What could it be then?” she wondered. “Is it just what he says about liking to travel a lot and not being able to take me with him?” “Doubtful,” I told her and at last we figured it out. He had a sexual addiction. My client was devasted and swung from being wildly “in love” to woefully “out of love” with this man. At least, that’s what she believed. I believed it was something different.

You see, I have a strange bias that love requires 20-20 vision. And, only when we see people clearly for who they really are can we really learn to love them. Loving people in a real way isn’t always easy. At times it can be very hard work. So, instead of nashing her teeth about “falling out of love” with her man, I encouraged her to discover how she could actually learn to love him. How does she do this? Well, not by going back into the darkness, denying his problems, and trying to overlook them so she can “work everything out.” That’s not love, that’s ignorance motivated by fear of loss and rejection. It also doesn’t help if she rages at him dumping all her hurt on him for having had her hopes and expectations for their relationship dashed to pieces. That can produce a temporary feel good, but it will end up making them both feel a lot worse.

What she can do then is open her heart, have compassion, and lovingly set up boundaries between them giving them space to sort things out. And, in that space she can take some time to use the power of love (which is the same in my opinion as consciousness) to wake up and learn. One of the first things she can learn is how an overwhelming number of sex addicts (as high as 80% or more) have been sexually abused and exploited as children. Plus, in our now overwhelmingly sexualized society, this percentage is growing and causing an epidemic of dsyfunction seriously hindering people’s ability to expeirence truly loving relationship. For more information on this read this excellent article, Sex Addiction Has Devastating Effects.

As she wakes up and get education, my client can can then take one of two paths. First, she can let go of this man in love — in real love — feeling a depth of compassion for his plight and praying that some day he will find his way out. In doing so, she has surrounded him with love enabling that love at some level (even if only energetically) to reach him. Second, if he is willing to stick it out with her and if she feels she has the strength to continue she can enter into counseling with him, insist he enter a Sexual Addiction Recovery program and they can build upon their love together.

The point is real love when we practice it does take us a million miles further. It wakes us up. It helps us to become conscious. It heals us. And, most of all it turns us into increasingly loving individuals. We neither fall in love, or out of love. We grow in love. Let’s grow in love — together.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa Love

Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Check out my NEW BOOK: SOUL SUCCESS: How to Create Joy & Prosperity in Good Times or Bad Buy the book and receive bonus gifts at my website.

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html

What Inner Success REALLY Means and How to Achieve It!

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“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

DR. LISA LOVE REFLECTIONS

In a recent radio interview featuring me and my SOUL SUCCESS: How to Create Joy & Prosperity in Good Times or Bad book, the interviewer ended the call enthusiastically proclaiming to his world-wide audience that a lot of well-known authors on his site were teaching people how to succeed, but no one he had ever spoken with had taught anything like I had about how to fail. Let me tell you what he meant by those words.

To begin with how many times have you tried something and failed in your life? Once, twice, twenty times, a hundred times or more? If so, what keeps you going? What keeps you motivated to keep on trying?

Chances are you will only move forward IF…

You have a spiritual practice or spiritual values that guide uplift and guide you.
You believe in what you are trying to do and move forward no matter what.

And, you will only move forward IF…

You know how to master the four levels of mind and the six emotions!

Why is this so important? Because to succeed you have to keep on stay inspired (mind level one), have a practical plan for success (mind level two), keep motivated (mind level three), and have a proper sense of timing (mind level four). And, you need to know how to rise above fear, sorrow, anger, jealousy, confusion, and even a false sense of naive optimism (or happiness) to move forward. Then, and only then, will you maintain the wisdom, optimism, enthusiasm, and joy to keep believing, adjusting, learning, growing, and moving forward into eventual success.

Yes. It’s true! I want to teach you how to fail, especially in such a way, your seeming failure results in a bounce that catapults you forward in ways you have not experienced before. And, I do so by giving you dozens of practical insights, techniques, and exercises in my Soul Success book so you can finally learn how to bounce in the way you are meant to.

And, I’ve made reading my SOUL SUCCESS: How to Create Joy & Prosperity in Good Times or Bad book totally risk free for you, by letting you review it for 7 days before buying the book. But, I know you will keep this book, which is why I am offering you a number of bonus gift including the Meditation Flow music CD from the group Sancorpe, discount coupons for my workshops and services, my free Meditation: The Path to Peace ebook, and more!

I know I can help you BOUNCE and more forward, either through my Ebook or coaching sessions. Need more information? Feel free to give me a call. 858-356-8359.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa Love

Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Check out my NEW BOOK: SOUL SUCCESS: How to Create Joy & Prosperity in Good Times or Bad Buy the book and receive bonus gifts at my website.

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html