You can get your heart to mend and get back to a place of feeling confident in love again, but only if you allow your heart to heal in the right way. Why? Because if you don’t let your heart heal in a healing manner it will create scar tissue, making it very hard for you to love or trust again. Which is why I want to help you through my Attracting & Keeping REAL Love: Prepare Yourself for Love Program.
That’s right. When we don’t know how to heal our hearts, whether we want to or not we find ways to injure them over and over again. As we do so, it is similar to having something start to heal (or scab over), but then if we don’t know how to leave it alone, or protect ourselves in the right way during the healing process, our hearts end up breaking over and over again!
If you have recently ended a relationship, or find yourself unable to forget someone you loved who is no longer in your life – I know how you feel and I know I can help you.
Like you, I’ve lost people I cared about. At one point in my life I spent years in pain. I not only didn’t believe I would ever find love again, I didn’t want to find love again. I just stayed there, stuck, hanging onto my pain and onto my past.
I was afraid of moving forward. I was afraid to believe. I was afraid to be disappointed in love again. And, from a Law of Attraction point of view (where the thoughts and feelings we put out into the universe tend to come back to us in life), I was actually increasing the odds that I would be disappointed once more in love, because that is all I could think, feel, and believe in my life.
And, why not? Hadn’t experience proved I was right? I did my absolute best to love, and just got smacked down in the process. It was all so painful. I was so hurt and confused. That is until I learned once and for all what real love was, and how I was, and was not, allowing real love to enter my life so I could love and be loved for good!
Here’s a letter sent to me by Julie, who had something similar happen to her.
“Dear Dr. Lisa,
I truly don’t know where to go, or what to do. I was dating my boyfriend for over one year. Everything seemed wonderful and I thought he was the man for me for certain.
Then, as the holidays came upon us, he started to unexpectedly back away. He said he wasn’t sure about us moving forward right now, and needed a little break.
I was so hurt. How could he say this to me just before we entered the holiday season? Then, the other day I found out something horrible. He had taken a trip to go skiing, and a mutual friend of ours told me she had spotted him at the resort skiing there without me. Worse, he was with his old girlfriend.
I was devastated. I thought everything between us was going well. Where in the world did his old girlfriend come from? I didn’t even know he was staying in touch with her.
I have now confronted him and we have currently called it quits. This hurts so much I don’t know if I can bare it. Please help me. I don’t know what to do.
Here is my answer to Julie, as well as a tool that will help any of you who may be suffering in the same way Julie is.
To begin with, Julie, your heartbreak is at the very initial stages. In many ways your broken heart is like a broken bone. And, what would you do if you actually had a broken bone (like a leg or arm?). Chances are you would get yourself to a doctor and fast.
In some ways that is what you have done by reaching out to me, someone who has the power to help you heal your heart. So, that is a good thing. Because finding an expert who knows the stages of how to help you start healing your heart in the right way is very important.
So here is what you need to do to heal. You need to COCOON! That is right. You need to create a safe space where you can feel all your feelings and release them in the most healing and powerful way you can. Why because whenever you experience sadness, or sorrow, you are faced with letting go. But, if you try to let go too soon, it will create the opposite effect. It will cause you to hang on! That is why I don’t want you to let go right away until you know how to. I want you first and foremost to cocoon, to protect yourself, to get yourself in a safe place so you can sort out what to keep, what to let go of, and how to move forward in the most powerful way.
How do you build your cocoon? There are many ways, and I talk about a number of them in my Attracting & Keeping REAL Love: Prepare Yourself for Love Program.
But, here is one simple tip for you right now – pick a place you can regularly go to, in nature, or in your home (even if it is the bathroom) and make sure that in this space you only allow positive and loving sights and sounds. That means only put up pictures that make you feel good. Only listen to music that encourages you to know you can heal and move on. And, only let people into this space (if possible) who love you, believe in you, and are able to tell you how you will be alright once you set the bone, put on a cast, and have taken the time to heal.
Of course there are more steps you could take, but for now this is a beginning process.
Want more help? Pick up my Attracting & Keeping REAL Love: Prepare Yourself for Love Program.
Or, call me for a coaching session. Learn more on at this address.
Blessings and love,
Dr. Lisa Love
(Copyright 2009 by Dr. Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved)