The Need Within You – The Healthy Desire Underlying Our Needs

Needs. They are a fundamental part of our Being from the moment of our conception. Each need in truth is related to a healthy desire. When these desires are not fulfilled, pain steps in and distorts these needs into manifestations of anger, depression, anxiety, despair, irritation and so forth. As we honor our needs they grow and mature. If we do not, we can enter a cycle of lopsided spiritual and psychological development.

In many spiritual disciplines we are taught to transcend our desires. We are encouraged to go beyond our needs, or to recognize them as immature, or unnecessary. Too often, well meaning, but sadly misdirected Souls, attempt to fulfill the “need” to be spiritual, at the expense of other needs which rightfully require attending to. These include, the need to be loved, the need to belong, the need to be creative, the need to be respected and admired. These very human needs are cravings which can not be stamped out, suppressed, and simply broken. A mature stance indicates it is not so much a matter of casting aside our desires, but rightfully knowing how to fulfill them, and then gradually substituting them for more ennobling ones.

The fulfillment of any need begins with discovering it, and honoring it. Taking an episode from our lives which resulted in painful or ignorant behavior, we enquire, “What was the need here?” To find this need, we must be willing to move past fear and judgment. We must believe that fundamentally we acted out of need, and affirm that all needs are worthwhile. We can recognize a lack of skill in fulfilling a need, which provoked negative situations. Still, the need itself is affirmed as essential and embraced.

As we undergo this review a number of revelations can occur in even the most tragic of situations. A lack of fidelity represents a need to explore where we need more connection and intimacy in our relationships. A failed business venture signals a need for a time out from the pressures and hassles required for success. Financial struggles trigger a discovery of what needs are most essential and how they can be better fulfilled by creating a strong sense of inter-dependency with others who can offer support. A chronic depression indicates a need to recapture lost love for ourselves and others. An illness alerts us to a need to pay closer attention to our physical nature and life style. An outbreak of violence reveals a long standing need for freedom of choice. A subversion of the law represents a need to break with tradition. A quest for power and fame hides a deep seated need to be accepted, respected, and loved. These are only a few examples of possible needs underlying times in our lives when we failed to honor ourselves and act with skill and true wisdom.

As each need is recognized, we can then place it within a spiritual perspective. We begin to enquire as to the means by which we are attempting to fulfill our needs. Using the criterion of intelligent action and harmlessness, the search lights of the mind and heart are cast upon our inner impulses. We become more intimate with ourselves making it possible to deepen a healthy intimacy with others. We rest, re-organize, re-prioritize before venturing into business again. We grieve, affirm our self-worth, and renew trust, faith and hope in life thereby lifting our depression. Via exercise, nutrition, and wise education of our physical needs and cycles, we respect our bodies and cherish them whatever the condition. By finding creative ways to innovate and change, we flex and re-organize the rules, instead of violating them. In discovering the Healing Presence within we are flooded with inner peace and purge the need to force self-recognition from others.

Step by careful step we pay attention to the needs within us. With wisdom, compassion, and insight we listen to our inner nature. We re-discover the worthiness of our Being. In doing so, we rest within the ultimate need, to Love and be Loved.

Want help with the above? I’m here to assist you.
Contact me at Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.


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