Why Am I Full of So Much Joy?

September 20, 2011

Seriously, I’ve been trying to figure it out.  What is this inner shift about?  I’m getting more joyful than I have ever been in my life.  But, it isn’t about external things — having or having not.  I think this is what the spiritual use of the law of attraction is about.  That inner state, joy, and bliss.

So, what is creating it in my life?  One thing that helped, I radically simplified my life so I could live my life from an inner flow.  On my vision board are not images of houses, cars, clothes, walking around town and looking in stores and thinking “I can have this, I can have that” aka “The Secret” style.  No, I’m focued on my own teachings and principles aka BEYOND THE SECRET style.  And, it’s working.

I get up and pretty much think, “Great, I’m still here.”  I practice my main meditation these days, remembering I am Spirit breathing this body, not a body breathing Spirit.  I look around and start to think how lucky I am.  Then, I remember that per every five words I write or speak somewhere on this planet a child is dying due to violence, disease, or hunger.  So, I think, “How can I help?”  Then I get busy trying to help others as much as I can from a state of joy and a real desire to give, instead of through an obligation to do so.

I am also struggling to discipline myself to exercise more and eat as I know I should.  I know everytime I exercise, eat right, and take my vitamins and herbs, I feel super-charged.  This is my main focus regarding my own life.  It is still a bit of a journey as I was raised on cakes, brownies, cookies, candy for desert almost every day of my life.  I’ve cut way back, but I still don’t do fruits and vegetables like I need to.  I am telling myself, “Do it not only for my personal health, but so I can be here longer to contribute to others.”  Then, I rely on the Spirit that I AM to breathe into this body, brain, and nervous system more discipline and determination.

What perplexes me is that technically I “have less” than I have ever had “stuff wise.”  In fact, I would like even less stuff.  One thing I do have is an abundance is books.  I have read a massive number of books in my life.  Several times I have given boxes and boxes of books away to libraries.  I just gave 26 boxes away last year.  Now, I would like to give the rest of my books away as soon as I can afford to get the really essential ones all on a Kindle (which I have yet to buy, but intend to).  Then, I will need even less space to live in (though I live in a small apartment), and be even more free to pack up and travel (like I am doing now on tour) to go out and meet and help people.

Eight years ago when I was losing my home, my marriage, a website (Soul to Spirit) I had spent years creating, and just about everything I owned I was crying up a storm.  I wrote BEYOND THE SECRET as I came out of that period in an attempt to figure out why I had gone through everything I had.  I mean I am one heck of a positive thinker and person.  Believe me, it was NOT due to my “negative thinking.”  Read my book BEYOND THE SECRET to learn more.

I kept meditating, praying, and working through a wide variety of feelings (the insights of doing that process are summarized in my FEELING GOOD & LIVING GREAT book).  I strengthened my spiritual cable to my true spiritual self and did a lot more inner work (and in my life I’ve already done an excessive amount of that, but there is always more to do).  Now, I am almost overjoyed.  And, it isn’t because my external life is perfect (perfect partner, house, health, etc).  It is because I just don’t focus on externals much at all anymore.  I focus on laughter, love, joy, being creative, and giving.

As I am touring these days I am around a lot of people who are struggling as they are losing “things.”  To be honest I actually find this kind of amusing.  The Buddhists say all things are imperment, even this body.  Don’t worry about stuff.  Focus on the part of you that is the REAL YOU.  When you do, you will get it.  We are NOT HERE TO CONSUME, we are here to CONTRIBUTE!

Get into what you have to GIVE, instead of what you want to GET, and your life will be filled with miracles.  Look, I had the pleasure of sitting in the homes of 100’s of people 60 to 103.  All were physically ill.  Learning from them I got it.  I really did!  The ONLY thing that made people happy at the end of their lives was how much they learned to love and give in this world.  Didn’t matter if they had a yacht behind their mansion, or were in a homeless shelter.  The externals didn’t matter.  I met rich people who were terribly unhappy, and rich people were full of love and joy.  I met poor people who were terribly unhappy, and poor people who were full of love and joy.  And, ALL OF THEM WERE SICK.  So forget the health part even.  I kept puzzling over this whole thing.  If externals (rich/poor) didn’t make the difference and health was something none of them had, then how did they pull off the joy?

Here is how…

1) They were full of gratitude.

2) They were full of love.

3) They focused on what they could still give to help others no matter what.

4) They found the humor in life.

5) They laughed.

6) They smiled.

7) They had a spiritual practice.

8) They knew who they really were.

9) Even in the face of death they had no fear.

What an amazing process.  If anyone would have told me years ago when I was losing my home, work, relationship, even my health for a time, that I was going to end up more joyful than I had ever been, I would have thrown them out of my life.  Yet, here I am.  And, I’m still pretty young.  I’m getting it.  I’m living the message of my own teachings.  And, here is the good news…. if the rest of the planet wakes up in the same way…. well, we are in for one glorious time!  No, we may not have as much stuff.  We may even create an economy where we DON’T WANT STUFF!  (Imagine that).  But, we will have so much joy!  Not even happiness (which is mostly based on me getting what I want), but joy (which is based on me contributing all I can whether I get what I personally want or not).  Here in the USA we may even change the constitution to life, liberty, and the pursuit of JOY.  And, as we live from joy we will be shocked we ever wanted to live that other way before.

So, maybe that is it  Maybe that is why I get up and just laugh so much these days.  I don’t take it seriously.  Even my photo here on Facebook.  People tell me I need a “glamour” shot.  You know where I get my teeth fixed, have someone do my hair and makeup.  Put the little hand under the chin, etc.  Honestly, the reason I like the picture I am using is because I was literally laughing at myself.  I was cracking myself up.  For the first time ever I took one of those cell phone shots where you stand in front of a mirror and click the picture.  I thought, “This is pretty hysterical.  Can you imagine using this photo publically?”  Then, when I saw myself, I went, “Wow!  Ok, maybe the hair can be better, and the lighting better, and I still haven’t gotten those crooked teeth fixed, but THERE I AM!  I can see ME!  The real ME!  Not the surface me.  The light inside of me.  The joy inside of me.  The humor and not taking it seriously part of me.”

“Good enough,” I thought.  Up the picture went on Facebook.

Today then, why not do the same?  Just don’t take stuff so seriously anymore.  Let your light shine.  Let your joy shine.  Let your love shine.  Then go out there and see who needs your help.  Even if life sucks around you.  Be there for someone.  In the meantime, I will do my best to be there for you.

Blessings,

Lisa

Copyright 2011 by Dr. Lisa Love. All rights reserved.

http://www.doctorlisalove.com/

http://www.facebook.com/drlisalove

http://www.twitter.com/doctorlisalove

Want help with the above? Check out my website: http://doctorlisalove.com/

Or, call me for a coaching session. Learn more on at this address.

http://doctorlisalove.com/coaching.html

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE:

http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html

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Are You Being Jealous? Or, Is Your Partner Insensitive or Dishonest? How to Tell the Difference.

August 17, 2011

In my book Feeling Good and Living Great (being released July 20011), I dedicate one whole chapter to the feeling of jealousy and show you how to master it.  Along these lines I have learned from a couple clients who struggled with intense jealousy issues.  What I discovered surprised me, and it may surprise you.

On the positive side jealousy is mainly a sign of what it is you are longing for or desiring in life.  That is why I teach people to turn
their jealousy into fulfillment and give you exercises and advice in my book of how to do that.  For example, if you don’t feel good about the way you look and feel jealous of someone who looks attractive to you, you can stew in jealousy, or you can get busy fulfilling your dream to be attractive yourself.

On the negative side jealousy is a form of self-abuse.  By stewing in your jealousy you prevent yourself from moving forward to have what you really want in life.  You prevent yourself from having a fulfilling life.  Having said this, I have learned there is actually a darker side to jealousy, both in regards to those who are jealous of you, and those who accuse you of being jealous
yourself.

But, first let me share some insights I learned after working with an intensely jealous client for years that may surprise you.  This client was intensely jealous of the women he was with and was constantly accusing them of wanting other men instead of him.  For a long time I helped him deal with his insecurities and anxieties especially as even he learned to rationally see that none of the women he was with were unfaithful or wanting other men in the least.  And, then the bomb hit.  Maybe it finally came out because I had won his confidence as a counselor.  That is why he finally confided in me, “Dr. Lisa, I have a confession.  All these years I am the one who has been sleeping with and flirting with other women.”  I was floored.

In psychology we call this projection.  You project onto someone else behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that are really within yourself.  Because my client was so busy cheating, lying, hiding and flirting with other women, he assumed the women he was with were doing the same thing.  He assumed they would be just as awful as he was being and so he was constantly jealous and vigilant attempting to make sure they weren’t.  Eventually with my help he cleaned up these deceitful behaviors.  As he did so, his jealousy calmed down.  As he learned to become trustworthy, he was able to more easily trust others.

Which brings me back to the title of this article.  When someone accuses you of being jealous because you ask questions about who else they are with, what their intensions are, or share your insecurities know that these behaviors in and of themselves do not constitute jealousy.  It could be that there is a valid reason for your feeling this way, especially if your partner is being dishonest with you by lying, hiding, cheating, and flirting around on you in ways you do not feel comfortable with.  That isn’t jealousy.  It is just trying to get people to be real!

However, it is jealousy if you have proof that your partner is not lying, hiding, cheating and flirting with others in disrespectful ways.  And, no partner likes to have to endlessly reassure you that he/she is an honest human being.  In fact, constantly accusing people who are honest of being dishonest flat our wears them out.  As I told my client who did this it even becomes a form of abuse.

Now, how do you know if your partner is telling the truth or lying, hiding, cheating, and flirting?  Usually, you do.  Chances are you have caught him/her in these behaviors at least a time or two (or three, or four, or five or more).  If you catch them in these behaviors and they accuse you of being jealous, know this, you are not!  They are playing the classic blame game of trying to divert attention away from their own dishonesty by making you feel the problem isn’t them, it is you.  Don’t let them get away with it.  Don’t own an issue that isn’t yours.

And, if you don’t catch them in these behaviors (lying, hiding, cheating, flirting) no matter how hard you look?  Then it is your issue.  You are being a jealous human being and it is time to get professional help.  Maybe you are like my client, maybe your jealous behaviors are a cover up for your own lying, hiding, cheating, or flirting behaviors.  Then you are projecting.  You are being a hypocrite.  Or, maybe you are just being insecure.  Then it is time to clean up those insecurities as well.  It is time to turn your jealousy into fulfillment and learn how to go constructively for what you want.  That can include being a confident, full of integrity, honest, loving, and loved human being.  And, why not go for this?  After all you are worth it.

Love and blessings,

Lisa

 

Copyright 2011 by Dr. Lisa Love. All rights reserved.

http://www.doctorlisalove.com

http://www.facebook.com/drlisalove

http://www.twitter.com/doctorlisalove

 

Want help with the above? Check out my website: http://doctorlisalove.com

Or, call me for a coaching session. Learn more on at this address.

http://doctorlisalove.com/coaching.html

 

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE:

http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html

 

 

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Feel free to Share this post on Facebook. You may also share it on other
websites and Ezines provided you include everything above, the article
and all the information about how to reach me via my website and pick up
free gifts as well. Thank you.

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