Happiness, The Power of Now, & the Law of Attraction

March 16, 2009

One of the most amusing things to me with some law of attraction practictioners is how they use the law of attraction to resist the present moment. An ancient spiritual truth expressed by all major religions and made more popular by Eckhart Tolle today, is how when we have the ability to fully accept and surrender to the present moment, we greatly increase happiness in life. But, sadly, many people use the law of attraction to avoid the present moment and therefore unwittingly increase the level of suffering and unhappiness in their lives. How does this happen?

Because the law of attraction propells us into a constant state where we avoid what is happening right now allowing us to spend our time in the present moment instead in a constant quest for what “should be” or what we “want to be” in the future. Example: I don’t like what is right now. Meaning I don’t like my current job, or economic situation, or relationship, or health condition, and so forth. So, I need to use the law of attraction to get out of where I am right now. Because only when I get a more attractive partner can I be happy. Only when I get more money can I be happy. Only when I lose ten more pounds can I be happy. So, I create a vision board, start doing all kinds of affirmations, whatever it takes to get out of this present moment and into what I believe a “better moment” might be. The problem is, since I have never learned to appreciate the gift of what is, right now, when I get to that next future moment (which is now the present moment), I have never learned to be content with what is, so I keep running after what I think I need next to be happy and so forth.

Ironically, the more you focus on this the more you perpetuate a chronic state of discontent and even fear. Because now is never good enough no matter what present moment you are in. By not being able to accept what is and spending all your time finding ways to run away from it, you increase unhappiness. Instead, if you could befriend the present moment by going into it more deeply, you could learn to extract the juice, the gift (such as increased awareness), and even the joy out of every moment you are in.

Example One: Avoiding the Present Moment.

You lose your job, or your partner no longer wants to be with you. You tell yourself, “This should not be.” You wail, you rage, you plot your vengence. Or, you immobilize in a state of confusion or grief and remain helpless and paralysed. In this state of great emotion you avoid the gift of right now. You run and react (instead of act) by using a law of attraction approach to help you get out of where you are now to attract a new job or new partner thinking then you will be happy. Then, all will be well. And, by doing this you become future, not present, bound.

Example Two: Accepting the Present Moment.

Here you accept as quickly as possible, “I have lost my job,” or “My partner no longer wants to be with me.” Maybe you will feel some grief, some anger, or another emotion. Instead of runnning from your feelings, you feel them. As you do so stillness emerges. Within the calm of the present moment you reawaken to the beauty of what is, right now. Gratitude swells up for what is. Depth emerges giving you the power to accept and appreciate more, what is right now. You find the gold, or the gift that lies within your present circumstances. The more you open up and trust in what this moment has to offer you, the more your sense of self expands making you more aware of not only what is, but of who you really are as a human, as the planet, and as part of the Universe. This puts you in a state of fullness, which is why I often say in the truest sense the law of attraction doesn’t exist. Because the more you empty out your ego identity (or your limited self) and expand into your identity as Spirit (as an unlimited self), the more you appreciate that even if at the level of the ego you don’t have what you want, as Spirit you already do!

The Law of Surrender

And, in that space Spirit is attempting to reveal to you what it wants for you in this moment. It has caused the present moment for a reason. As you stay open to this possibility you avoid the usual ego tendency to run from the present moment and to create a new future based upon it’s limited understanding. Instead, you surrender to what Spirit wants in this moment, leaving you open to a number of revelations. For example. Maybe you are not meant to get a job again right now. Maybe you are meant to rest for a bit, or enter into a training program for a new line of work. Or, maybe you are not meant to have a new relationship right away again. Maybe you are meant to be single for a time so you can grow into a new you! Staying in the present moment by first using the Law of Surrender before attempting to activate the Law of Attraction you find that in many ways, Spirit knows what is best. Opening up to what Spirit wants (which is ultimately opening up to what “you” want, since you are Spirit) not only leads you to a brighter future (or a happier succession of present moments) it leads you to serenity and peace brining you the opportunity to have a lifetime of joy and fulfillment.

Namaste,

Dr. Lisa Love

Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

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Benefits of Conscious Complaining

March 9, 2009
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain. ~ Maya Angelou

Recently, I’ve been exposed to a couple of books that were anti-whining and anti-complaining. And, especially in tough times it is easy to be prone to complaining. But, did you know (with all due respect to Maya Angelou who I adore) complaining can be very useful? I call it “conscious complaining,” which from a law of attraction perspective is an excellent tool that helps you clarify and discern what you “don’t want” in your life, as a prelude for switching over to knowing what you “do want” from this point forward. For example. You don’t want to be in debt. You don’t want to have high interest credit cards. You don’t want to lose your job or your home. You don’t want to mess up a really great relationship. Good! You are complaining. And, by complaining in this way you are discovering what you don’t want and will no longer tolerate.

Now that you are clear about what you don’t want, let’s switch gears and get insight into what you can do about your problems. Regarding your debt, can you whittle it down? Can you talk to a Consumer Credit Counselor to help you? Can you get financial advise regarding how to save your home? Can you live more simply and get rid of the attitude that dictates a lifestyle of consumption? Can you learn to be a more loving person and partner? What else can you do to change your life and attitude for the better? Remember, used in the right way complaining helps you get clarity. And, once you are clear you can turn your anxiety into action and make a change in either behavior, attitude, or both. So go ahead. Complain, get clear, get motivated, get changing, and complain no more!

To your success!

Dr. Lisa Love
Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html


Visualization Tips

March 9, 2009

Dear Dr. Lisa,Dear Leslie,

I’ve been trying visualization methods, but they just don’t seem to work for me. I have friends who say they are effective. Am I doing something wrong?

Leslie
St. Petersburg, FL

 

Visualization can be a powerful tool if used correctly. Here are some tips to help you out. First, when you begin a visualization exercise, make sure your motive is good. Visualization techniques are not just about creating your own health, wealth, and happiness, but about finding out how your increased health, wealth, and happiness can also be used to help others achieve these same goals in their lives. By adding in the right motivation, in a sense we invite “Divine participation” into our creative visualization efforts.

Second, when I first started to practice visualization exercises many years ago, I realized that the capacity to visualize was not very strong in me. Of my five senses, my hearing and touch senses were more developed, and seeing pictures in my mind was not easy for me. So, I had to practice very simple visualization techniques to get me started. For example, for some time I simply tried to hold the image of a circle with a dot in the center (a symbol for the sun). Later I would image other simple geometric shapes, like a triangle, square, and so forth. Next, I would add color to the shapes, and put the shapes on top of each other. Over time, I would attempt to rotate the shapes and imagine what that would like. When I was at last able to master holding a stable image for some length of time, adding color and a three-dimensional perspective to it, I entered into more complex forms of visualization.

Why are these basic steps important? Because visualization is more powerful and effective, the more real it becomes to us. This is why one teacher I had even encouraged adding all the senses in a “visualization” exercise, not just the capacity to see images. For example, if you were to visualize yourself in a park, you would “see” the images in the park, sun, trees, grass, people, but you would also hear the sounds in the park (children playing, yourself breathing in and out, birds singing). Then, you would add the touch sense, feeling the wind touch your skin, the warmth of the sun on your body and the ground, and so forth. You would even add smell (the flowers, the water nearby, your own body scent, and so forth), and for those who could really get into it, you would add the last sense of taste, which is usually difficult for people to master (tasting the air on your tongue for example).

Why go through all this? Well, as you probably noticed even in what I wrote to you above, the entire scene begins to become increasingly real to you. And this is the power, the more real it becomes, the more likely you are to not only motivate yourself to make it real in your life, but to condition your body to respond as if it were real (which is why many of us respond to movies as if they were real, getting scared, happy, sad, even though it is only a “movie” on the screen).

In a way, visualization is a poor word, since it only indicates the use of one sense. But, the idea is that you can begin to change your life by using your five senses to re-imagine, or re-sense, your experience of life. And when this ability is added to the desire to change your life not only for the better, but to dedicate these changes to helping others improve their lives as well, that when the hand of the “divine” steps in, in my opinion, and empowers what you are doing even more.

A third step involves one not often talked about in books, which also might be the reason the tool is not working for you, and that is visualization exercises can often call up resistance to the very thing we are trying to manifest in our lives. In other words, each of us has certain habit patterns we have settled into in life. When we try to change those habit patterns, there is often resistance. This resistance can come in the form of a loss of personal will power, other people stepping in to discourage us, or simply forgetting to keep practicing our visualization exercise. Whatever the form of resistance, it is important to remember that persistence is the best way to overcome this. Persist in your visualization practice and success will be more likely that what you visualize will come true in your life.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa

Want help with the above? I’m here to assist you.
Contact me at Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html


What is Spirituality? Key Points in Bold

February 2, 2009

(Copyright May 2002 by Lisa Love).

Below is a small excerpt from my Ph.D. dissertation on Weatlh & Spirituality where I was asked to do substantial research of the spiritual literature to come up with a defintion of spirituality. 

To help you sort through the required documentation in a Ph.D. dissertation, I have put the key points in bold.

Qualities of Spirituality

     What are some of the qualities associated with spirituality?  To begin with, some people (Braudy, 1997; Dunbar, 2000; Fridson, 2000, Goddard, 1995; Hill & Smith, 1995; Jagers & Smith, 1996; Kilpatrick, 1999; Niederman, 1999; Rolheiser, 1999; Roof, 1999) consider the qualities of energy, vitality, and power to be primary spiritual components. Ronald Rolheiser (1999) states: We can see from all of this that spirituality is about what we do with our spirits, our souls.  And can we see too from all of this that a healthy spirit or a healthy soul must do dual jobs: it has to give us energy and fire, so that we do not lose our vitality, and all sense of the beauty and joy of livingThus, the opposite of a spiritual person is not a person who rejects the idea of God and lives as a pagan.  The opposite of being spiritual is to have no energy, is to have lost all the zest for living – lying on a couch, watching football or sit-coms, taking beer intravenously! (pp. 11-12)

     Other qualities often attributed to spirituality include those of having a life purpose, or being endowed with the capacity to give one’s life meaning (Canda, 1988; Elkins, Hedstrom, Hughes, Leaf & Saunders, 1988; Frankl, 1967; Howden, 1993; McGrath, 1997; Wheat, 1991).  Still other people attribute spirituality to the belief in an Ultimate Reality (Banks, Poehler & Russell, 1984; Francis, 1986; Howden, 1993; Hungelmann, Kenkel-Rossi, Klassen, & Stollenwerk, 1985; Nagai-Jacobson & Burkhardt, 1989; Nierderman, 1999; Rolheiser, 1999; Wheat, 1991).  Niederman (1999) found in his research with over 300 people that this Ultimate Reality (or Ultimate Other as he called it) is usually made up of a “God archetype” (p. 91) of some kind, which is dependent upon the cultural and religious orientation a person holds.  The experience of an Ultimate Reality can be either dualistic or non-dualistic. The dualistic position sees the God-archetype as a being, force, or spirit out there somewhere that can be related to for inspiration, comfort, or aid.  The non-dualistic perspective asserts there really is no other in an ultimate sense, because that other is also within us as well. (Bailey, 1945; Brunton, 1984, 1986, 1988; Wilber, 1977, 1979)

     Another view of spirituality is that it pertains to a belief in life after death (Jagers and Smith, 1996; Niederman, 1999).  It also pertains to the capacity to contact the deceased, a view often found in indigenous shamanic traditions (Coogan, 1998; Noss, 1999, Ryan, 1999), the “spiritualists” movement of the late 19th century (Sadleir, 2000), and amongst modern day mediums and psychics (Sadleir, 2000).  Spirituality can also be associated with the cultivation of psychic powers and a cultivation of altered state experiences (Coogan, 1998; Noss, 1999, Ryan, 1999; Sadleir, 2000), which are often entered into as a means to contact the dead and access subtle realms of perception.      

     A number of other authors take issue with this view of spirituality.  Aurobindo (1948, 1958; Satprem, 1993), Bailey (1942), Brunton (1984, 1987b) and Underhill (1955)  warn that psychic powers and altered state experiences divorced from a moral base can inflate the ego and therefore impede spiritual growth.  Alice Bailey (1942) even goes so far as to assert that this kind of pursuit can really be a digression from cultivating what she calls the “higher psychic abilities” that include qualities such as a refined intellect, a calm emotional state, and other surprising words like discrimination, healing, active service, spiritual discernment, response to group need or vibration, and perfected knowledge to name a few (pp. 559 – 563).        

     Aurobindo (1948, 1958), Bailey (1922, 1937, 1942, 1945), Brunton (1984, 1988), Fowler (1981), Marion (2000), Satprem (1993), Underhill (1955), Wade (1996), and Wilber (1977, 1979, 1995, 1996, 2000) are a few of the leading thinkers who talk about spirituality as emerging primarily after an ego stage of development.  Spirituality occurs only when a certain developmental level of consciousness is reached, which Bailey (1922, 1937, 1945) refers to as undergoing the first initiation, Brunton (1984, 1986) speaks about as the beginning of the spiritual quest, Wade (1996) calls the level of transcendent consciousness, and Wilber (1995) refers to as the centauric, vision-logic, or psychic (1981) levels of consciousness.  At this point the ego begins to dissolve, or transcends itself (Elkins, Hedstrom, Hughes, Leaf, & Saunders, 1988; Frankl, 1962; Jackson, 1980; Jenkins, 1995; O’Brien, 1994; Niederman, 1999), and the life emphasis shifts from what one gets out of life for oneself, to what one can increasingly give to others  (Banks, Poehler, & Russell, 1984).  Bailey (1942) refers to this as the <b>shift from acquisition to contribution.</b>

     For a number of authors (Lane, 1987; McGrath, 1997; Shafranske, 1984, Zumeta, 1993) spirituality exists when there is a sense of community, or when someone becomes other oriented(concerned about others and not just oneself).  This sense of other can extend from simply a concern for one’s own family, to a broad concern for environmental and planetary welfare, which some authors believe only takes place when the individual has sufficiently transcended the ego (Bailey, 1937, 1945; Brunton, 1984, 1988; Wilber, 1995, 2000). 

     Finally, spirituality for many authors has to do with the cultivation of a number of traits that are often viewed as moral in nature (Beversluis, 2000; Kornfield, 2000; Teasdale, 1999, Walsh, 1999).  Both Wayne Teasdale (1999) and transpersonal psychiatrist Roger Walsh (1999) believe the emphasis on morality should be less on outer injunctions of how to live, and more upon behaviors derived from an inner realization of what Walsh (1999) calls the “direct experience of the sacred” (p. 3) which include the following qualities:  a) a reduction in cravings for material goods; b) a cultivation of emotional wisdom that manifests as compassion; c) the living of an ethical life; d) a concentrated and calm mind; e) the ability to see and recognize the sacred in all things; f) the cultivation of spiritual intelligence resulting in wisdom; g) and the desire to put spirit into action, through the embrace of generosity and the joy of service.  

     This view that spirituality is dependent upon the cultivation of certain qualities fits with the research study conducted by Niederman (1999) who found his participants equated spirituality most often with qualities that included: love and compassion; the ability to sit with mystery and not have all the answers; honesty, self-evaluation, positive thinking, patience, self-acceptance; good nutritional habits and exercise; forgiveness, self-disclosure, risking, touching, self-improvement; activities such as meditation, prayer, imaging; a desire to fashion one’s life into a life of holiness; inner strength; joy, peace, awareness, centeredness; release, gratitude, humility, tolerance, faith, commitment, surrender; an ability to see beyond the present reality; discipline, trust, love, commitment to spiritual practice, a sense of well-being, and a greater sense of connectedness and relatedness to others; and a sense of harmony with self, others, and the environment.


Towards a Global Ethic: An Initial Declaration

January 31, 2009

If we are seeking to use the law of attraction in a spiritual way then perhaps it helps if we know some moral and ethical guidelines to follow in helping us do so.  That is why I am posting this Global Ethic Declaration put together by spiritual leaders from all spiritual traditions who were part of the Parliment of World’s Religions.  I hope you take the time to read it.  http://www.urbandharma.org/pdf/ethic.pdf


Musings on Moving Beyond the Ego’s Use of the Law of Attraction

January 31, 2009
While doing research on my newest book (the follow up to my Beyond the Secret book), I was reviewing some of my favorite texts from various spiritual teachers I admire. I was particularly struck by what I read in Wayne Teasdale’s THE MYSTIC HEART about some of the ideas of Thomas Keating’s writings on “the false self.”

To summarize, Teasdale shares how in our early years if we do not get what we need in the way of security, love, and a feeling of mastery and control over our environment, we will compensate for it in the following ways:

1) Not enough of security as a child — compensating with an over-emphasis on material prosperity.

2) Not enough love as a child — seeking out the approval of others (even pursuing fame to do so).

3) Not enough control as a child — attempts to dominate others at work, in the family, and everywhere!

GOODNESS! No wonder so many people stress using the law of attraction to get money, approval, and as a means to control their environments. How riddled they must be with feelings of fear, believing inside they are fundamentally unlovable, and that they are out of control in this world and need to compensate for it all by using the law of attraction to find ways to be totally in control. And, maybe this is why research showed a few years ago that despite how prosperous American’s were they scored very high on the unhappiness scale. How sad, because it means that essentially we have way too many children (both young and inside the bodies of adults still) who feel insecure, unloved, and out of control.

This said, perhaps the antidote to using the law of attraction in a more spiritual (versus egotistical way) is to show people how to feel inwardly secure (which comes about by knowing how to wisely intuit and rely upon the Divine), loved for who they are (no matter what the outer appearance of their lives), and using surrender (and my formula of Surrender-Align-Contribute) so they no longer feel the need to control and give it over more to the Divine flow!

Well, I guess that is what the spiritual quest is all about really. Learning how to heal the wounds of our childhood to help us overcome the ego and live in the light, love, joy, and freedom of the Divine!

Blessings as you pursue yours!

Lisa


Fearlessness

December 25, 2007

Courage. This bold word means in essence “take heart.” Like cowardly lions given new hearts by the Oz wizard, we only come to know fearlessness in our lives when we choose to love enough. When we “take heart” fear subsides. When focused in our hearts, we unite with the life force of others. We remember we are One.  We intuitively see reality, beyond fear, beyond anger, beyond suffering. Life is faced with confidence, a word meaning “with trust.” Centered in the divine Healing Presence, we trust that all things work in time for the good.

Without courage we are only left with fear. Fear is a product of separation that causes us to believe that “I am here, you are there, and you have the power to harm me.” Because of fear we cannot see the heart of others.  We cannot call forth their Higher Selves. The “other” is the enemy.  This causes our own hearts to close giving the “enemy” power over our capacity to see good and work for productive change.  

Fear takes very little effort and debilitates our capacity to cope with a situation effectively.  Our hearts close causing us to forget the workings of the Divine. Our minds splinter and fail us blocking our capacity to reason, to discriminate, to maintain dispassion. Next, our minds become weapons for dividing, defending, and conquering. Weakened intellectually, we are forced to simply react like automated machines. Emotionally, impulsive reactions escalate the fear around us. Out of fear, we brandish others with our rage. We diminish ourselves in confusion. We suffocate in grief.  Naturally, our physical actions follow suit and a series of poor choices often follow.

Fearlessness brings us back to courage reminding us to respond to any situation first with our hearts. With the heart we no longer pull away or react. Rather, we pause, remembering who we are as spiritual Beings. We take the time to trust in our innate spiritual center. We take the time to invoke wisdom, discretion, calm, and maturity to help us face the situation before us. We invoke spiritual guidance from those we trust, asking them to teach us to act with harmlessness and right action. Our minds open to insights that allow us to manage effectively what stands before us. Our emotions are poised, confident, and therefore serene. Our brains are alert and oriented towards responding appropriately. Acting “in-spirit” we are energized to confront difficult situations with a determination to succeed despite the odds. 

Take a moment and contrast times the times you acted from fear as well as from fearlessness.  Start by recalling a time you were afraid. Notice the underlying feelings which emerged including those of helplessness, unworthiness, hopelessness, moving free fall out of control. Be in touch with your own level of discomfort in this fearful situation. Notice how much you failed to remember your Divine heritage which would have allowed you to gain insight, calm, poise, and wisdom when handling a difficult matter. Now chose a time when you handled a difficult situation in your life fearlessly. Be aware of the magical moments that emerged such as: gaining a solution you needed just in the nick of time; drawing upon strength you never knew you had; being aided by others when you most needed it; making quick decisions based upon a heightened sensitivity which turned out to be exactly correct; tapping into mystical revelations concerning the nature of the Divine.

At every moment of our lives in every situation we are constantly confronted with this choice. Do I want to live a life of fear? Or, do I want to be fearless? Do I suffer from a lack of confidence causing me to to block the capacity of the Divine to bring me insight? Or, do I actively seek to understand the spiritual lessons which can emerge in the darkest of situations? (These lessons might include humility, a greater sense of compassion, deeper levels of maturity, wisdom, prudence, and so forth). Do I want to react with hatred, bitterness, and despair (which are really all based upon fear)? Or, do I want to act with perspective, detachment, optimism, faith, and spiritual daring in all that befalls me?

Finally, examine for yourself the difference between your choices rooted in fear, and those rooted in fearlessness. Notice how in fear there is a lack of trust in your Divine identity, and a spiritual Self-forgetfulness. Notice how in fearlessness faith, hope, love and a firm conviction in the Healing Presence of your spiritual self guides all your behavior. Conclude by making a silent invocation or prayer inviting the Healing Presence into all areas of your life which hold fear and doubt. At last, choose to remember who you are! You are a Divine spirit! You are love! You are light! You are spiritual daring! You ARE fearlessness! Remember, remember, remember!

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