Why Am I Full of So Much Joy?

September 20, 2011

Seriously, I’ve been trying to figure it out.  What is this inner shift about?  I’m getting more joyful than I have ever been in my life.  But, it isn’t about external things — having or having not.  I think this is what the spiritual use of the law of attraction is about.  That inner state, joy, and bliss.

So, what is creating it in my life?  One thing that helped, I radically simplified my life so I could live my life from an inner flow.  On my vision board are not images of houses, cars, clothes, walking around town and looking in stores and thinking “I can have this, I can have that” aka “The Secret” style.  No, I’m focued on my own teachings and principles aka BEYOND THE SECRET style.  And, it’s working.

I get up and pretty much think, “Great, I’m still here.”  I practice my main meditation these days, remembering I am Spirit breathing this body, not a body breathing Spirit.  I look around and start to think how lucky I am.  Then, I remember that per every five words I write or speak somewhere on this planet a child is dying due to violence, disease, or hunger.  So, I think, “How can I help?”  Then I get busy trying to help others as much as I can from a state of joy and a real desire to give, instead of through an obligation to do so.

I am also struggling to discipline myself to exercise more and eat as I know I should.  I know everytime I exercise, eat right, and take my vitamins and herbs, I feel super-charged.  This is my main focus regarding my own life.  It is still a bit of a journey as I was raised on cakes, brownies, cookies, candy for desert almost every day of my life.  I’ve cut way back, but I still don’t do fruits and vegetables like I need to.  I am telling myself, “Do it not only for my personal health, but so I can be here longer to contribute to others.”  Then, I rely on the Spirit that I AM to breathe into this body, brain, and nervous system more discipline and determination.

What perplexes me is that technically I “have less” than I have ever had “stuff wise.”  In fact, I would like even less stuff.  One thing I do have is an abundance is books.  I have read a massive number of books in my life.  Several times I have given boxes and boxes of books away to libraries.  I just gave 26 boxes away last year.  Now, I would like to give the rest of my books away as soon as I can afford to get the really essential ones all on a Kindle (which I have yet to buy, but intend to).  Then, I will need even less space to live in (though I live in a small apartment), and be even more free to pack up and travel (like I am doing now on tour) to go out and meet and help people.

Eight years ago when I was losing my home, my marriage, a website (Soul to Spirit) I had spent years creating, and just about everything I owned I was crying up a storm.  I wrote BEYOND THE SECRET as I came out of that period in an attempt to figure out why I had gone through everything I had.  I mean I am one heck of a positive thinker and person.  Believe me, it was NOT due to my “negative thinking.”  Read my book BEYOND THE SECRET to learn more.

I kept meditating, praying, and working through a wide variety of feelings (the insights of doing that process are summarized in my FEELING GOOD & LIVING GREAT book).  I strengthened my spiritual cable to my true spiritual self and did a lot more inner work (and in my life I’ve already done an excessive amount of that, but there is always more to do).  Now, I am almost overjoyed.  And, it isn’t because my external life is perfect (perfect partner, house, health, etc).  It is because I just don’t focus on externals much at all anymore.  I focus on laughter, love, joy, being creative, and giving.

As I am touring these days I am around a lot of people who are struggling as they are losing “things.”  To be honest I actually find this kind of amusing.  The Buddhists say all things are imperment, even this body.  Don’t worry about stuff.  Focus on the part of you that is the REAL YOU.  When you do, you will get it.  We are NOT HERE TO CONSUME, we are here to CONTRIBUTE!

Get into what you have to GIVE, instead of what you want to GET, and your life will be filled with miracles.  Look, I had the pleasure of sitting in the homes of 100’s of people 60 to 103.  All were physically ill.  Learning from them I got it.  I really did!  The ONLY thing that made people happy at the end of their lives was how much they learned to love and give in this world.  Didn’t matter if they had a yacht behind their mansion, or were in a homeless shelter.  The externals didn’t matter.  I met rich people who were terribly unhappy, and rich people were full of love and joy.  I met poor people who were terribly unhappy, and poor people who were full of love and joy.  And, ALL OF THEM WERE SICK.  So forget the health part even.  I kept puzzling over this whole thing.  If externals (rich/poor) didn’t make the difference and health was something none of them had, then how did they pull off the joy?

Here is how…

1) They were full of gratitude.

2) They were full of love.

3) They focused on what they could still give to help others no matter what.

4) They found the humor in life.

5) They laughed.

6) They smiled.

7) They had a spiritual practice.

8) They knew who they really were.

9) Even in the face of death they had no fear.

What an amazing process.  If anyone would have told me years ago when I was losing my home, work, relationship, even my health for a time, that I was going to end up more joyful than I had ever been, I would have thrown them out of my life.  Yet, here I am.  And, I’m still pretty young.  I’m getting it.  I’m living the message of my own teachings.  And, here is the good news…. if the rest of the planet wakes up in the same way…. well, we are in for one glorious time!  No, we may not have as much stuff.  We may even create an economy where we DON’T WANT STUFF!  (Imagine that).  But, we will have so much joy!  Not even happiness (which is mostly based on me getting what I want), but joy (which is based on me contributing all I can whether I get what I personally want or not).  Here in the USA we may even change the constitution to life, liberty, and the pursuit of JOY.  And, as we live from joy we will be shocked we ever wanted to live that other way before.

So, maybe that is it  Maybe that is why I get up and just laugh so much these days.  I don’t take it seriously.  Even my photo here on Facebook.  People tell me I need a “glamour” shot.  You know where I get my teeth fixed, have someone do my hair and makeup.  Put the little hand under the chin, etc.  Honestly, the reason I like the picture I am using is because I was literally laughing at myself.  I was cracking myself up.  For the first time ever I took one of those cell phone shots where you stand in front of a mirror and click the picture.  I thought, “This is pretty hysterical.  Can you imagine using this photo publically?”  Then, when I saw myself, I went, “Wow!  Ok, maybe the hair can be better, and the lighting better, and I still haven’t gotten those crooked teeth fixed, but THERE I AM!  I can see ME!  The real ME!  Not the surface me.  The light inside of me.  The joy inside of me.  The humor and not taking it seriously part of me.”

“Good enough,” I thought.  Up the picture went on Facebook.

Today then, why not do the same?  Just don’t take stuff so seriously anymore.  Let your light shine.  Let your joy shine.  Let your love shine.  Then go out there and see who needs your help.  Even if life sucks around you.  Be there for someone.  In the meantime, I will do my best to be there for you.

Blessings,

Lisa

Copyright 2011 by Dr. Lisa Love. All rights reserved.

http://www.doctorlisalove.com/

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Take Back Your Power and Love Yourself

September 6, 2011

As a professional counselor for years I would tell people they needed to learn to love themselves.  But, beyond a platitude, how do you actually do that?  Ironically, one of the ways I discovered how to love yourself, was to consider all the ways people (especially women) were not loving themselves.  And, the more I thought about that, the more I realized that one of the main reasons women were not loving themselves was because of what they were being taught about love (almost all false) especially from movies.  Starting way back as young as when women are girls, they are being taught a variety of false notions about love.  These notions include:

  • Putting yourself last and your man first.
  • Waiting to live your life until a man comes and finds you.
  • Tolerating beastly behaviors.
  • Playing dumb and refusing to see the shadow side of life.
  • Misunderstanding how men learn to love and then confusing sex with love.
  • Settling for half a relationship instead of a whole one.
  • Much, much more!

Ultimately, these false notions were changed into their opposites creating a blueprint for how women (and men) could take back their power, love themselves, and learn to really love each other in the process.  Some of those opposites include:

  • Putting yourself and your dreams first in a healthy way.
  • Getting conscious about what you really want and finding healthy ways to pursue it.
  • Teaching others to treat you well because you know what good treatment looks like and feels like.
  • Knowing how to deal with the light and shadow in an effective way.
  • Discovering how to get a man to really love you.
  • Bringing together love and sex in a playful and healthy way.
  • Learning how to be whole so you can have a whole and truly loving relationship.
  • Settling for half a relationship instead of a whole one.
  • Much, much more!

Now that you know some of the basics why not find out how you can expand on these basics by taking one of the top courses about loving yourself on DailyOM?  Go here and learn to take back your power and love yourself now!

Love and blessings,

Lisa

Copyright 2011 by Dr. Lisa Love. All rights reserved.

http://www.doctorlisalove.com

http://www.facebook.com/drlisalove

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Want help with the above? Check out my website: http://doctorlisalove.com

Or, call me for a coaching session. Learn more on at this address.

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Self Respect & Setting Standards

January 23, 2011
“If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you’ll accept in life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve.” — Anthony Robbins

Dr. Lisa Love Reflections.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the notion of setting standards, especially when I consider using the law of attraction in a spiritual way. And, it’s occurred to me in light of what is happening in the world today, maybe as a whole our standards just are not being set high enough. After all, we live on a planet where 1,000 plant and animal species are going extinct everyday. Yesterday, the news announced that in the United States 40% of all children that came into the world in 2008 are born to single mothers without fathers involved in their child’s care. Increasingly around the globe civility is dead, more wars are taking place than ever before (Mexico is now considered more of a threat than Iraq is due to the drug industry) and slavery is the largest it has ever been in human history (almost all human slavery these days is of women and children being forced into the porn and sex slave industry, with most of them being exported to India and Asian countries for prostitution there).

Apart from just trying to bum everyone out with horrible statistics, I think it is time that as human beings we joyfully set our standards a little higher. To help along these lines I recommend the following three books I have had the pleasure to read lately.

THE LOVE DARE (and don’t miss the movie Fireproof that goes with it. I loved it! It’s Christian based, but regardless of your faith this book is one of the best I have ever read to help people learn what real love is! One of my favorite topics by the way).

ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN (a book that reveals how especially women need to get off the Cosmo trip and start to rethink how they are encouraging men to treat them with disrespect, leave them or treat them like “rent” — temporary hangouts — and are not being encouraged by women who give into their bad behaviors too easily to be the best men they can be).

THE FALL: The Insanity of the Ego in Human History and the Dawning of A New Era (A book that shows that the horrible way men and women can treat each other and how to go beyond treating others and our Earth in such disrespectful ways. Only then will we gain more respect for ourselves, each other, and this world).

In short, it is time for us to raise our standards and understand that we have attracted this world because the baseline bar has been just to low. Time to get motivated, grow in love, and learn to really love and respect each other and our world. The results will be more than worth it.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa Love
Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html


Spread the Joy

January 23, 2011
Main Quote

The sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual, forms a bridge between the sharers which can be the basis for understanding much of what is not shared between them, and lessens the threat of their difference.– Audre Lorde

Dr. Lisa Love Coaching Tip

The other night I was home with my son and received a video link from a Facebook friend in Greece. The images of Greece combined with the music got my heart happy and the next thing you know I was singing and dancing all over my home. I new fan of Twitter, I “tweeted” about all the fun I was having to friends there and the next thing I knew I was in the middle of an international party spreading the joy all around. I even had people from other states in the United States call me on the phone. The laughter, the networking, the sheer fun and silliness of it all kept amping up the joy in my life. In turn I amped it up with the people around me and went to bed on a super high of giggles and smiles.

As I woke up the next morning I thought to myself, “Instead of telling people around the globe in this economic crisis to go shopping, maybe we should tell everyone to go dancing instead.” A vision of people all around the world dealing with the economic crisis not by saying, “Oh my, how will I handle this all?” but by indulging in one big joy fest of singing, dancing, laughing, and smiling flooded my imagination. I could even see YouTube videos being shared of people just sharing the major joy fest they were having. None of it costs a thing to indulge in, yet far more than shopping I am certain such a thing would do way more to help out the economy than anything else we could think of. Can’t you see it? A world wide laugh fest? No one able to supress our spirits because we decide instead to raise them up to a whole new vibration regardless? Couldn’t be better. So get out your dance shoes. Tune up your instruments. Looses up your vocal chords. Get playing and spread the joy! It’s infectious! And, it’s one virus worth spreading right now.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa

Want help with the above? I’m here to assist you.
Contact me at Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html


What’s Worth Living For

January 23, 2011
Main Quote

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. — William Wallace

Dr. Lisa Love Coaching Tip

In the movie The Princess Bride a young man attempts to win the heart of a woman. In a very comedic way he goes through trial after trial attempting to prove to her that he is worthy of her love. At one point he is even mercilessly tortured (in a way that is so absurd it ends up being really funny) and essentially dies because of this. At least he is “mostly dead.” So his buddies take him off to Miracle Max (played by the actor Billy Crystal) to see if the young man can be saved. Before attempting to bring him back to life, however, Miracle Max wants to know what the young man has to live for. He musters up the strength to answer, “True love.” Causing Miracle Max to reply, “Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT: a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that. ”

So especially if you find that times are difficult in your life it’s good to step back and ask yourself what really keeps you going in life? What has enough power to pulll you into the life stream so that you can live more passionately, purposefully, and fully from now on in your life? And, once you discover this what is stopping you from going forward and really living in the way your heart wants you to? You might even consider going through an exercise that I wrote about in my Beyond the Secret: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction book. Imagine the legacy you want to leave behind for others after you have passed from this world. Then consider. Are you on the path towards leaving that legacy right now? And, if not how can you become more determined to get on that road and do so?

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa

Want help with the above? I’m here to assist you.
Contact me at Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html


Self-Acceptance

January 22, 2011
Life is a process. As the heart of life unfolds like petals before us, each of us reaches for the precious jewel at the center, the jewel of Self-acceptance. For most, Self-acceptance does not come easy. Too frequently we succumb to outer appearances, the “shoulds,” and “oughts,” and “maybes” of our own, or others expectations. Instead of embracing ourselves with loving kindness, we obsess that we have missed the mark. In the endless pursuit of perfection, we weigh ourselves in the balance, judging everything according to narrow perceptions in our minds. We are not rich enough, attractive enough, intelligent enough, skillful enough, and so forth. Frantically, we attempt to cover up, to catch up, to undue what has been done in our lives. Hoping we are succeeding, despair can beset us, realizing our efforts have only complicated a simple truth. Accept your Self.

At some time in our lives, it is likely that each of us has touched that mysterious something, known as the Self. In the midst of our pain a space is created. This space allows us to enter a point of stillness. Here, we surrender. We let go. Outwardly, life may remain the same. The debts may be mounting, the job remains unsatisfying. But, inwardly, something changes. We accept our Selves. We open up.

In the private space found within the deep recesses of our hearts, we renew trust that despite outer appearances, we are worthwhile. Like a close and intimate friend, we learn compassion is available to us without judgment or condemnation. It is not so much a matter of forgiveness, which at some level implies adjusting a perceived wrong behavior. It is reaching towards the mysterious inner revelation, where we are loved and understood so completely, we are simply accepted for who we are, with all the seeming imperfections life in this fragile world can offer us.

How potent this realization. In reaching towards the Self, we reach towards wholeness. We discover any situation has elements which can be wielded for the sake of the Divine. All mistakes, all seeming transgressions, are placed on the alter and seen in their true light. We perceive our fears, our doubts, our worries. We acknowledge each one of these represents a failure to trust the Self, to acknowledge our true identities, to embrace Self-acceptance.

Over time, we realize that pain has come from attachment. The human impulse is to control the direction of ones life. The difficulty with this premise, is that human insight is narrow. It cannot perceive the larger whole. Each time we remain ignorant of the whole, for the benefit of the part, it may bring temporary satisfaction, but ultimately it will visit us with long term suffering. This realization is the doorway to wholeness.

Take the time to examine your life’s journey. Move deeply into moments where life did not give you what you thought you wanted. The loss of a loved one. The shattering of a dream. The progression of an illness. The onset of age. The injustices and seemingly unfair moments of life. As long as we fail to allow Self-acceptance into these moments, we are caught in a cycle of pain. We grieve, and rage, and resist the truth of these realities.

Move onward. Examine the times when life bought you moments of great joy. Were they solely based upon perceptions of having “gotten something you have wished for?” Or, was there something deeper there? Something more akin to waking up and realizing that ALL human beings only get a fragment of their hearts desires fulfilled. As a collective whole one person’s fulfillment, is often at the expense of another person’s suffering. As long as we demand from life that it give us only what we believe WE want, we are revealing our darker nature. Our greed, our fears, our anxieties.

But, when we transform, when we open up, we look beyond our small lives. We see as part of the collective, it is unreasonable to insist we have it all. We change. “We” become smaller. The whole becomes greater. We open up to Love. We peer out at the timeless panorama of a midnight sky, and confess we simply do not know what is right for us to have and need. We seek to awaken to that broader perspective.

In the stillness of that moment, we touch the Self. It touches us. A sense of calm comes over us. We notice things we have long forgotten. The beauty of the sunrise. The play of light amongst the shadows. The kind words and silent prayers of others too long ignored. The great sacrifices and noble deeds too frequently left unnoticed. The tender moments for gentleness we left behind. This is what the Self would have us remember. This is what we acknowledge and accept. Life in its grace, life in its mercy, life in its joy. Surrender.

Dr. Lisa Love
Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html


How Do I Deal With Disappointing Events in a Spiritual Way?

January 22, 2011
Dear Dr. Lisa,

Recently I was asked to give a presentation for my work. Though I thought I had prepared well, it was not well received. Some of the criticism was even quite harsh. I know I should be able to “ride with this” with detachment, but it has not been as easy as I would like. Do you have any ideas that might help me?

Paul, Santa Fe, NM. USA

Dear Paul,

Spiritual practice is ultimately learning to apply what we know even in difficult circumstances. During this process we want to honor our human frailties, even as we remain open to transforming them. Though there are a number of methods and approaches that might be successful in helping you do this, I often begin with the psychological level. This involves simply embracing the hurt and disappointment as a parent embraces a child who has taken a bruising fall. Though it is not always popular for men to take this approach in regard to their own emotions, this comforting inward embrace, lets us know we are OK, we can cope.

Next, it is important to consider the lessons lying underneath the disappointment. This requires the capacity to detach from the emotional impact and lift into a space where you can look at what is happening with a more detached and impersonal perspective. Though it might feel natural to simply focus on those who criticized you, it is best to begin with a careful analysis of your own part in the process. What were the strengths and weaknesses in your presentation? Were there parts that you feel you did well on, no matter how it was received? For example, maybe you took more time to prepare than usual, something to be commended regardless of the impact. Or, as far as weaknesses may have been concerned, maybe you failed to read the real needs of your audience, something you might want to research and prepare more carefully for in the future.

After this process of detachment and analysis, it is important to take it a step further, into the spiritual level. This includes attempting to understand the deeper motivations underneath the criticism you received. For example, criticism designed only to tear you down, instead of used to help you move on to your next step, is never helpful. Destructive criticism is not the same as criticism used in some spiritual traditions, like Zen, as a wake up call. A father may speak sharply to a child who has entered a street unwittingly. Though the child may feel hurt, he is grateful when he sees the impending danger of the car the father was altering him to. So, try to get a sense of how the criticism directed at you was used. Is it waking you up to become more professional in your approach? Or, is it tearing you down out of jealousy or ignorance on the part of others? If it is waking you up, be grateful to these teachers. If it is tearing you down, exercise your compassion. Those who employ such methods, usually do so because they have been treated harshly in their own lives, and do not know another way to be.

Finally, move into a process of putting the entire event into an infinite perspective. Though we may tend to forget this step when impacted emotionally, and have to work our way back into remembering it, it is the most helpful step of all. Start by considering a span of five years and ask yourself how important will this event really be in your life? Move on and contemplate to a stretch of ten years, twenty years, a hundred years, even a thousand years of time. Notice how rapidly the event dissolves into insignificance. From this space, come back, and ask yourself, “If this was the last day of your life, what would you really want to remember about this day?”

Recall three specific positive qualities or events. These may include: a loving moment with a spiritual teacher, a lover, a relative, a friend; a beautiful scene in nature; a piece of music, a time of triumph, anything that reminds you again of the “good, the true, and the beautiful.” When you have recalled three specific items you would want to remember on your last day on Earth, you might even want to close with a prayer, meditation, or mantra (spiritual chant or phrase). As you do so remember that you are an infinite being, and not the little problems that ebb and flow in your life. Reabsorb yourself into this spiritual identity and let it dissolve the small tribulations of your life.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa Love
Dr. Lisa Love Website

Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Love. All Rights Reserved.

About Dr. Lisa Love

Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html