Ending the Cycle of Hurt & Entering Into Healing

Anytime we have been hurt it is natural to want to lash out. It is also easy to blame others.  And, true some people are more unconscious, wounding, ignorant, even cruel and malicious than others.  This should not be ignored or condoned.  Yet, the main questions are, “How do we break free from hurt?” and “How do we heal once and for all?”

One excellent tool is the use of the Hawaiian Ho’o pono pono prayer, which says simply, “I’m sorry.  Please forgive me.  I love you.  I thank you.”

How in the world you might wonder can you say such a thing to people who are malicious and cruel?  That is where the healing
truly begins.  We live in an imperfect world.  Ideally, we would each be so full of love and wisdom that this would not be the case.  Love and healing would reign all around.  Yet, it does not.  Why?  Because many people are ignorant and resort to hurtful and even cruel behaviors in their attempt to “get even” regarding the wrongs they perceive have been done to them.  Or they may be trying to prove that they are superior to others and therefore deserve to oppress and punish those perceived to be “lower” than they are.

And, true.  You may be able to look at your life and say, “Who me?  What part did I have to play in all of this?  I am innocent.”  True, at some level you may be innocent.  But, one of the gifts of wisdom is growing up and being willing to
clearly see not only the beauty, but the sorrows in the world.  As you see those sorrows with an open heart, you can’t help but acknowledge and feel compassion for your own limitations and lack of awareness, or worse action when you “know better.”

That is where the magic begins.  You say the words, “I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  I love you.  I thank you.”  As you do so you watch the magic begin.  You feel all the ways that you have been blind (even at times deliberately), ignorant, preoccupied with lesser things.   You feel how all of this has contributed to the sorrows of the world.  Then, you love yourself with deep compassion for your own ignorance.

Next, you hear those words, “I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  I love you.  I thank  you” being said to you.  Imagine everyone who has ever hurt you saying these words to you over and over again.

Need help?

Here is a video of the process.  This one works best because there are no distracting images, only the words making it easier to really experience yourself saying this to someone and their saying it back to you.


Want a vocal version?  Here is another one, but I for one find it harder to do personal work to this one.


And, a final version.  Great visuals and a nice beat to the music, but for me harder to meditate to, though interesting to experience.


Love and blessings,



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