Changing into Someone You Are Not – Ariel, the Little Mermaid – How NOT to Love Yourself

August 31, 2011

Is a man really loving you for you, or are you really loving yourself if you turn into a change project to become someone you are not? That is what Princess Ariel does, also known as the Little Mermaid. And, is trying to please a man by morphing into someone else she is just one more example of HOW NOT TO LOVE YOURSELF, the name of the new book by Dr. Lisa Love. Are you acting in a naïve way like Snow White? If so, learn how to stop. The book is also available as a combined text, audio, video course at DailyOM.com under the title TAKE BACK YOUR POWER AND LOVE YOURSELF

 

Advertisements

Playing Dumb and Naive About the Shadow Side In Life – Snow White – How NOT to Love Yourself

August 31, 2011

Ignoring the shadow side of life including in the people around you can lead you into trouble the way it did for Snow White, a woman who is an example of HOW NOT TO LOVE YOURSELF, the name of the new book by Dr. Lisa Love. Are you acting in a naïve way like Snow White? If so, learn how to stop. The book is also available as a combined text, audio, video course at DailyOM.com under the title TAKE BACK YOUR POWER AND LOVE YOURSELF

 


Pretending Problems Don’t Exist – Princess Aurora the Sleeping Beauty – How NOT to Love Yourself

August 31, 2011

Are you messing up your chances for love the way Princess Aurora the Sleeping Beauty did by sleep walking through life and pretending problems don’t exist? If so you are learning HOW NOT TO LOVE YOURSELF, the name of the new book by Dr. Lisa Love. Also available as a combined text, audio, video course at DailyOM.com under the title TAKE BACK YOUR POWER AND LOVE YOURSELF

 


Putting Yourself Last – Princess Cinderella – How NOT to Love Yourself

August 31, 2011

Are you messing up your chances for love the way Princess Cinderella did by putting yourself last in your quest for a prince? If so you are learning HOW NOT TO LOVE YOURSELF, the name of the new book by Dr. Lisa Love. Also available as a combined text, audio, video course at DailyOM.com under the title TAKE BACK YOUR POWER AND LOVE YOURSELF

Watch this video here to learn more!

 


Ending the Cycle of Hurt & Entering Into Healing

August 17, 2011

Anytime we have been hurt it is natural to want to lash out. It is also easy to blame others.  And, true some people are more unconscious, wounding, ignorant, even cruel and malicious than others.  This should not be ignored or condoned.  Yet, the main questions are, “How do we break free from hurt?” and “How do we heal once and for all?”

One excellent tool is the use of the Hawaiian Ho’o pono pono prayer, which says simply, “I’m sorry.  Please forgive me.  I love you.  I thank you.”

How in the world you might wonder can you say such a thing to people who are malicious and cruel?  That is where the healing
truly begins.  We live in an imperfect world.  Ideally, we would each be so full of love and wisdom that this would not be the case.  Love and healing would reign all around.  Yet, it does not.  Why?  Because many people are ignorant and resort to hurtful and even cruel behaviors in their attempt to “get even” regarding the wrongs they perceive have been done to them.  Or they may be trying to prove that they are superior to others and therefore deserve to oppress and punish those perceived to be “lower” than they are.

And, true.  You may be able to look at your life and say, “Who me?  What part did I have to play in all of this?  I am innocent.”  True, at some level you may be innocent.  But, one of the gifts of wisdom is growing up and being willing to
clearly see not only the beauty, but the sorrows in the world.  As you see those sorrows with an open heart, you can’t help but acknowledge and feel compassion for your own limitations and lack of awareness, or worse action when you “know better.”

That is where the magic begins.  You say the words, “I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  I love you.  I thank you.”  As you do so you watch the magic begin.  You feel all the ways that you have been blind (even at times deliberately), ignorant, preoccupied with lesser things.   You feel how all of this has contributed to the sorrows of the world.  Then, you love yourself with deep compassion for your own ignorance.

Next, you hear those words, “I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  I love you.  I thank  you” being said to you.  Imagine everyone who has ever hurt you saying these words to you over and over again.

Need help?

Here is a video of the process.  This one works best because there are no distracting images, only the words making it easier to really experience yourself saying this to someone and their saying it back to you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lil63u-xB70&feature=related

Want a vocal version?  Here is another one, but I for one find it harder to do personal work to this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac5SGwRPv0o&feature=related

And, a final version.  Great visuals and a nice beat to the music, but for me harder to meditate to, though interesting to experience.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqiCa3wpHC8&sns=fb

Love and blessings,

Lisa


Affairs Can Only Happen When People Agree to Be Enslaved

August 17, 2011

Celebrate the notion of having affairs and you are really celebrating one thing – slavery!  Example: The Bridges of Madison County — romantic story or story that glorifies living in hell!  There she is the trapped miserable wife in a marriage where she is misunderstood, ignored, and pathetically lonely.  Along comes a man who for a few glorious days appreciates and romances her.  Then he is gone.  We get out the handkerchiefs and cry, but what are we really crying about?

Me?  I am crying because this is so pathetic.  The woman here is such a slave that she can only have a few days in her life where she feels appreciated.  And, I am crying because this woman believes a few days of romance equals love, it doesn’t.  I am glad she got some attention and encouragement, but real love starts when things don’t go so well between us, and we can still work it out in a truly loving fashion.  But, mostly I am crying because this woman has so little love for herself, so little courage, that she will feed off those memories of a few happy days for the rest of her life, instead of work to make the rest of her life happy.  Ugh!

Wake up!  We are hurtling into a new era where men and women won’t make slaves of each other (I hope!).  Instead, they will be free to be honest, open, and truly supportive of each other’s needs.  And, that won’t mean one person gets his/her needs met at the expense of another.  Rather, they will be able to enter into dialouge with one another to see what is and isn’t working.  If things
are not working out they will be free to leave.  They won’t be locked into fear where love is crushed and impossible to experience.

The pathetic dance of fear will end.  People will stay together because they enjoy the experience together.  They choose freely to be together.  They want to walk together beside and through the fire, searching for real intimacy and depth, not running away from themselves into romantic fantasies with others because they can’t face each other’s shadows as well as expand each other’s light.  They will honor commitments, not because they feel it is noble to do so and be enslaved by it, but because that commitment will help them make a journey together to encounter their true authentic selves.

And, when that journey rightfully ends because needs no longer mesh?  They will go.  In love they will go.  Then there is no need to use another person as a prop through an affair to help you boost your ego or make you feel momentarily better.  That is a fear response, a slave response.  Your fear stops you from being authentically who you really are because you don’t want to pay the price of freedom.  Yes, freedom comes at a price.  To be free you must be willing to let go.  You must be willing to feel the loss, the rejection, the guilt, the disapproval, the loneliness.  You must be willing to risk the possibility of financial loss and hardship.

Cowards are not willing to pay the price for freedom, so they stay.  Worse, now they willingly choose to be slaves.  Yet, the price they pay for their slavery is much higher in the end.  Now the loss is much more acute as they increasingly lose out on their
dreams, hopes, and authetic self.  Resentment and resignation build.  Vitality is sucked out.

Addictive behaviors to drown out the pain go up.  Health is debilitated.  The loneliness mounts because there is no lonelier place to be than in a relationship where each of you sits in silence masking who you really are because you are afraid to be seen, loved, and known.  And, to be honest in the end there is even greater financial loss and hardship as you resort to excessive spending, consumption, and medication to do anything to numb the pain out.

Ah, but if I go I’ll be taken to court.  I may lose everything I have.  I may not be able to see my children.  I may go broke.  True, in a world of masters and slaves where love is scarce people battle it out to make winners and losers out of each other.  That is what masters and slaves do.  But, what slave in history didn’t pay a price to try and get free?  If you really want to be free you will
too.  Just be sure that is what you are doing.  Slaves can escape to another land and if they still live in fear they will rapidly become
slaves once again.  They will hate.  They will punish.  They will become addicts, or remain addicted.  They will run from their shadows and the shadows of others only engaging in relationships that remain superficial.  They will have solved nothing, for true freedom begins within.

Begin there, find out who you really are, what you really need, what your higher purpose is.  Then treat yourself and others with love and compassion as you move to live the life you are meant to, to contribute what you are really here for.  Loving people
will support you and understand you.  Those who want to make you slaves will block you, guilt you, prevent you from going in any way possible.  Better to be around people who will bring out the hammer and free you from your chains, or who will lovingly encourage you to go your way.

Then there is no place for affairs, no need for them.  Affairs require deception.  By their very nature they collude to keep you trapped.  When we are honest and open with each other, when we truly love one another, when we want what is best for each other everything is in the open.  Affairs are pointless.  Only love and freedom exist.

Love and blessings,

Lisa

Copyright 2011 by Dr. Lisa Love. All rights reserved.

http://www.doctorlisalove.com

http://www.facebook.com/drlisalove

http://www.twitter.com/doctorlisalove

 

Want help with the above? Check out my website: http://doctorlisalove.com

Or, call me for a coaching session. Learn more on at this address.

http://doctorlisalove.com/coaching.html

 

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE:

http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html

 

**********************************************

Feel free to Share this post on Facebook. You may also share it on other
websites and Ezines provided you include everything above, the article
and all the information about how to reach me via my website and pick up
free gifts as well. Thank you.

*********************************************


Women Cat-Fighting Over Cheating Men & How To Stop It

August 17, 2011

Well, it’s happened again, yet another women client calling me up in tears to tell me she is the other women (or married woman) feeling hateful and upset over another woman being in her man’s life.  Tragic, but both these women have their hurt and anger misdirected.  Instead of being angry and upset with each other, they should feel pity for one another.  Then they can turn their hurt and anger where it belongs, on the jerk they are both in a relationship with who gets some sort of sick satisfaction in seeing them cat-fight over him.

Yes, both women have made an investment in the cheating man who is primarily using both of them to boost his sagging ego and to entertain himself and various parts of his anatomy, while making sure his pocketbook stays secure.  Because it is painful for these women to think that maybe this is a bad investment to begin with, they may have trouble seeing that they both have some healing work to do on themselves.  Sadly, instead of admitting they need help and healing, they find it easier to take it out on the so-called obstacle to their happiness — the other woman in the picture.

And, YES!  It is much harder to admit that the man you found so exciting and entrancing is really a jerk.  Pity the woman (yourself or the other woman) who lacks the courage and self love to get out and instead is willing to tolerate such awful treatment.

And, NO!  Just because he can abuse, lie to, and cheat on more than one woman doesn’t mean he is a good catch.  It actually means he is a really lousy one.

And, YES!  You have been duped by his so-called charming behaviors.  In fact, you have become a victim of them.  If the other woman wants to remain a vicitm, let her.  Why should you continue to put up with such behavior?

And, NO!  Leaving this jerk and letting the other woman have him doesn’t mean you will end up alone.  It means you will end up free from horrible treatment and give yourself the chance to really find a loving guy.  By the way there are loving men out there.

And, YES!  Do pity the other woman who doesn’t have the courage to say no to such awful treatment.  Offer her compassion even.  The fact is her life is hell.  She only thinks it might not be hell because she is deluded enough to believe that because her guy can dupe and abuse more than one woman, that is proof he must be  really “something.” He is, but I don’t want to say exactly what he is here.  Rather, I will play nice and encourage him to heal his own sagging ego and selfishness by getting into counseling or taking up a serious spiritual practice.  The fact of the matter is, he needs help.

And, NO!  She is not better than you, or prettier than you, or more sexy.  She is simply just as deluded as you that this guy is worth the effort.  He isn’t.  Any woman of real worth would see that, and would get out, or avoid these kind of relationships to begin with.  Now it’s your turn to do just that.  The question is where is your self-worth and how can you find it to pack up and leave and find someone who knows how to treat you a heck of a lot better?

In the meantime, I know it is hard to do the above.  That is why I am here to help you.  Just give yourself a break, have compassion for yourself, and if you haven’t gotten out of this horrible relationship, then get help with that too.  Or, if you have gotten out, congratulate yourself and pray for the other woman that she will love herself enough to get out as well. Then your cat-fight will turn into something brighter and more spiritual, it will become a light fight, as you fight to bring in the light you both need
to help each other heal.

Love and blessings,

Lisa

 

Copyright 2011 by Dr. Lisa Love. All rights reserved.

http://www.doctorlisalove.com

http://www.facebook.com/drlisalove

http://www.twitter.com/doctorlisalove

 

Want help with the above? Check out my website: http://doctorlisalove.com

Or, call me for a coaching session. Learn more on at this address.

http://doctorlisalove.com/coaching.html

 

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE:

http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html

 

**********************************************

Feel free to Share this post on Facebook. You may also share it on other
websites and Ezines provided you include everything above, the article
and all the information about how to reach me via my website and pick up
free gifts as well. Thank you.

*********************************************