As a professional counselor for years I would tell people they needed to learn to love themselves. But, beyond a platitude, how do you actually do that? Ironically, one of the ways I discovered how to love yourself, was to consider all the ways people (especially women) were not loving themselves. And, the more I thought about that, the more I realized that one of the main reasons women were not loving themselves was because of what they were being taught about love (almost all false) especially from movies. Starting way back as young as when women are girls, they are being taught a variety of false notions about love. These notions include:
Putting yourself last and your man first.
Waiting to live your life until a man comes and finds you.
Tolerating beastly behaviors.
Playing dumb and refusing to see the shadow side of life.
Misunderstanding how men learn to love and then confusing sex with love.
Settling for half a relationship instead of a whole one.
Much, much more!
Ultimately, these false notions were changed into their opposites creating a blueprint for how women (and men) could take back their power, love themselves, and learn to really love each other in the process. Some of those opposites include:
Putting yourself and your dreams first in a healthy way.
Getting conscious about what you really want and finding healthy ways to pursue it.
Teaching others to treat you well because you know what good treatment looks like and feels like.
Knowing how to deal with the light and shadow in an effective way.
Discovering how to get a man to really love you.
Bringing together love and sex in a playful and healthy way.
Learning how to be whole so you can have a whole and truly loving relationship.
Settling for half a relationship instead of a whole one.
Is a man really loving you for you, or are you really loving yourself if you turn into a change project to become someone you are not? That is what Princess Ariel does, also known as the Little Mermaid. And, is trying to please a man by morphing into someone else she is just one more example of HOW NOT TO LOVE YOURSELF, the name of the new book by Dr. Lisa Love. Are you acting in a naïve way like Snow White? If so, learn how to stop. The book is also available as a combined text, audio, video course at DailyOM.com under the title TAKE BACK YOUR POWER AND LOVE YOURSELF
Ignoring the shadow side of life including in the people around you can lead you into trouble the way it did for Snow White, a woman who is an example of HOW NOT TO LOVE YOURSELF, the name of the new book by Dr. Lisa Love. Are you acting in a naïve way like Snow White? If so, learn how to stop. The book is also available as a combined text, audio, video course at DailyOM.com under the title TAKE BACK YOUR POWER AND LOVE YOURSELF
Are you messing up your chances for love the way Princess Aurora the Sleeping Beauty did by sleep walking through life and pretending problems don’t exist? If so you are learning HOW NOT TO LOVE YOURSELF, the name of the new book by Dr. Lisa Love. Also available as a combined text, audio, video course at DailyOM.com under the title TAKE BACK YOUR POWER AND LOVE YOURSELF
Are you messing up your chances for love the way Princess Cinderella did by putting yourself last in your quest for a prince? If so you are learning HOW NOT TO LOVE YOURSELF, the name of the new book by Dr. Lisa Love. Also available as a combined text, audio, video course at DailyOM.com under the title TAKE BACK YOUR POWER AND LOVE YOURSELF
“If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you’ll accept in life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve.” — Anthony Robbins
Dr. Lisa Love Reflections.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the notion of setting standards, especially when I consider using the law of attraction in a spiritual way. And, it’s occurred to me in light of what is happening in the world today, maybe as a whole our standards just are not being set high enough. After all, we live on a planet where 1,000 plant and animal species are going extinct everyday. Yesterday, the news announced that in the United States 40% of all children that came into the world in 2008 are born to single mothers without fathers involved in their child’s care. Increasingly around the globe civility is dead, more wars are taking place than ever before (Mexico is now considered more of a threat than Iraq is due to the drug industry) and slavery is the largest it has ever been in human history (almost all human slavery these days is of women and children being forced into the porn and sex slave industry, with most of them being exported to India and Asian countries for prostitution there).
Apart from just trying to bum everyone out with horrible statistics, I think it is time that as human beings we joyfully set our standards a little higher. To help along these lines I recommend the following three books I have had the pleasure to read lately.
THE LOVE DARE (and don’t miss the movie Fireproof that goes with it. I loved it! It’s Christian based, but regardless of your faith this book is one of the best I have ever read to help people learn what real love is! One of my favorite topics by the way).
ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN (a book that reveals how especially women need to get off the Cosmo trip and start to rethink how they are encouraging men to treat them with disrespect, leave them or treat them like “rent” — temporary hangouts — and are not being encouraged by women who give into their bad behaviors too easily to be the best men they can be).
In short, it is time for us to raise our standards and understand that we have attracted this world because the baseline bar has been just to low. Time to get motivated, grow in love, and learn to really love and respect each other and our world. The results will be more than worth it.
Best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.
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Doctor Lisa Love 